Ways to Come Home Drunk

Two married friends are out drinking one night, when one turns to the
other and says, "You know, I don't know what else to do. Whenever I go
home after we've been out drinking, I turn the headlights off before I
get to the driveway. I shut off the engine and coast into the garage.
Take my shoes off before I go into the house, I sneak up the stairs, get
undressed in the bathroom, stick my foot in the toilet and pee down my
leg to prevent splashing sounds. I ease into bed and my wife STILL Wakes
Up, and Yells at me for staying out so late!

"His friend looks at him and says "Well, you're obviously taking the
wrong approach. I screech into the driveway, slam the door, storm up the
steps, pee hard into the toilet water, then use the full flush, throw my
shoes in the closet, undress in the bedroom, then jump into bed, slap
her on the *** and say!, WHO'S HORNY????!!!" And she acts like she's
sound asleep! Works Every Time!!!

A good thing about SOPA

Recent talks on SOPA and humor on it..

While the Biebs is in jail, I have a chance to win Selena Gomez's heart...

 

 

 

Then you might think ..
Well he wouldn't, because they wouldn't sue him.

Different rules for different people

Funny Awesome Answers In IAS Examination

Funny Awesome Answers In IAS (Indian Administrative Services) Examination

Q. How can you drop a raw egg onto a concre...te floor without
cracking it?
A. Concrete floors are very hard to crack!
(UPSC Topper)

Q. If it took eight men ten hours to build a wall, how long would it take four men to build it?
A. No time at all it is already built. (UPSC 23rd Rank Opted for IFS)

Q. If you had three apples and four oranges in one hand and four apples and three
oranges in the other hand, what would you have?
A. Very large hands. (Good one) (UPSC 11 Rank Opted for IPS)

Q. How can you lift an elephant with one hand?
A. you will never find an elephant with one hand. (UPSC Rank 14 Opted for
IES)

Q. How can a man go eight days without sleep?
A. No Probs, He sleeps at night. (UPSC IAS Rank
98)

Q. If you throw a red stone into the blue sea what it will become?
A. It will Wet or Sink as simple as that. (UPSC IAS Rank 2)

Q. What looks like half apple ?
A: The other half. (UPSC - IAS Topper )

Q. What can you never eat for breakfast?
A: Dinner.

Q. Bay of Bengal is in which state?
A: Liquid (UPSC 33 Rank)

Interviewer said"I shall either ask you ten easy questions or one really
difficult question. Think well before you make up your mind!"The boy
thought for a while and said,"my choice is one really difficult question."
"Well, good luck to you, you have made your own choice! Now tell me
this.
"What comes first, Day or Night?"
The boy was jolted into reality as his admission depends on the
correctness of his answer, but he thought for a while and said,
"It's the DAY sir!" "How"the interviewer asked.
"Sorry sir, you promised me that you will not ask me a SECOND difficult
question!"
He was selected for IIM!

Technical Skill is the mastery of complexity, while Creativity is the
master of presence of mind. This is a famous paper
written for an Oxford philosophy exam, normally requiring an
eight page essay answer and expected to be backed up with
source material, quotes and analytical reasoning. This guy wrote the
below answer and topped the exam!
* OXFORD EXAMINATION BOARD 1987* *ESSAY QUESTION*
Question: What is courage? (50 Marks)
Answer (After 7 blank pages, at the end of the
last page…): This is courage.

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