Sunday, May 19, 2013

Funny Bank Robbery Joke

bank robbery in action - jokes
There was this robbery in Cape Town, South Africa, the robber shouted to everyone: "All don't move, money belongs to the state, life belongs to you".

Everyone inside the bank laid down quietly without any confrontation to the robbers.

This is called "Mind Changing Concept --> Changing the conventional way of thinking".
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One lady lay on the table provocatively, the robber shouted at her "Please be civilised! This is a robbery and not a rape!"

This is called "Being Professional --> Focus only on what you are trained to do!"
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When the robbers got back, the younger robber (MBA trained) told the older robber (who is only primary school educated), "Big bro, let's count how much we got", the older robber rebutted and said, "You very stupid, so much money, how to count, tonight TV will tell us how much we robbed from the bank!"

This is called "Experience --> nowadays experience is more important than paper qualifications!"
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After the robbers left, the bank manager told the bank supervisor to call the police quickly. The supervisor says "Wait, wait wait, let's put the 5 million South African rand we embezzled into the amount the robbers robbed".

This is called "Swim with the tide --> converting an unfavorable situation to your advantage!"
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The supervisor says "It will be good if there is a robbery every month".

This is called "Killing Boredom --> Happiness is most important."
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The next day, TV news reported that 100 million South African rand was taken from the bank. The robbers counted and counted and counted, but they could only count 20 million South African rand. The robbers were very angry and complained "We risked our lives and only took 20 million South African rand, the bank manager took 80 million South African rand with a snap of his fingers. It looks like it is better to be educated to be a thief!"

This is called "Knowledge is worth as much as gold !"
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The bank manager was smiling and happy because his loss in the JD Group shares are now covered by this robbery.

This is called "Seizing the opportunity --> daring to take risks!"

Sunday, April 28, 2013

Iron Man 3 2013 Quotes


Time for Iron Man 3 quotes, some of emmm are really hilarious and funny, after all Tony Stark has funny sense of humor, i'm still waiting for the movie at local cinema ....

Iron Man 3 Quotes

The Mandarin: Ladies, children, sheep... Some people call me a terrorist. I consider myself a teacher. Lesson number one: Heroes, there is no such thing.

Tony Stark: I have a lot of apologies to make... Nothing's been the same since New York. You experience things, and then they're over. I can't sleep, and when I do I have nightmares. Honestly, there's a hundred people who want to kill me. I hope I can protect the one thing I can't live without...


Tony Stark: I have a lot of apologies to make... I'm so sorry for putting you in harm's way... I'm going to find out who did this...

The Mandarin: You'll never see me coming...


Tony Stark: I'm Tony Stark. I build neat stuff, got a great girl, occasionally save the world. So why can't I sleep?

Tony Stark: [to Pepper] Things are different now, I have to protect the one thing that I can't live without. That's you.

The Mandarin: Mr Stark, today is the first day of what's left of your life.

Iron Man 3 Quotes Wallpaper

Tony Stark: We do need backup...
James Rhodes: That's your department.
Tony Stark: There's my boys..


Tony Stark: You're not a man. You're nothing more than a maniac. I'm not afraid of you. No politics here: just good old fashioned revenge!

Aldrich Killian: The whole world's gonna be watching.

The Mandarin: I'm gonna offer the choice: do you want an empty life, or a meaningful death?

Sal Kennedy: You elected me on a single platform. I will defend this country at all costs. The Mandarin must be stopped!


 Tony Stark: [suits up] You know, it's moments like these when I realize how much of a superhero I am.
Pepper Potts: Wow!


Tony Stark: I'm here on a mission: fighting back.

Tony Stark: Dads leave. No need to be such a pussy about it.


Rescue: I got you!
Tony Stark: I got you first!

The Mandarin: My soldiers are coming. NOTHING can save you!
Tony Stark: We'll see about that.

Source of Iron Man 3 quotes http://www.imdb.com/title/tt1300854/

Thursday, April 11, 2013

Funny Airport Jokes

funny airport jokes

It happened at a New York Airport. This is hilarious and funny. I wish I had the guts of this girl. An award should go to the United Airlines gate agent in New York for being smart and funny, while
making her point, when confronted with a passenger who probably deserved to fly as cargo. For all of you out there who have had to deal with an irate customer, this one is for you.

A crowded United Airlines flight was canceled. A single agent was re-booking a long line of inconvenienced travelers.

Suddenly, an angry passenger pushed his way to the desk. He slapped his ticket on the counter and said, "I HAVE to be on this flight and it has to be FIRST CLASS."

The agent replied, "I'm sorry, sir. I'll be happy to try to help you, but I've got to help these folks first; and then I'm sure we'll be able to work something out."

The passenger was unimpressed. He asked loudly, so that the passengers behind him could hear, "DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA WHO I AM?"

Without hesitating, the agent smiled and grabbed her public address microphone. "May I have your attention, please?", she began, her voice heard clearly throughout the terminal. "We have a passenger here at Gate 14 WHO DOES NOT KNOW WHO HE IS. If anyone can help him with his identity, please come to Gate 14".

With the folks behind him in line laughing hysterically,
the man glared at the United Airlines agent, gritted his teeth, and said, "F*** You!"

Without flinching, she smiled and said, "I'm sorry sir,
you'll have to get in line for that, too."