Friday, December 4, 2009

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Ladies Vs Real Women

Ladies - If you accidentally over-salt a dish while it's still cooking,
drop in a peeled potato and it will absorb the excess salt for an
instant "fix-me-up."

Real Women - If you over-salt a dish while you are cooking, that's too
damn bad. Please recite with me, The Real Women's motto: "I made it and you
will eat it and I don't care how bad it tastes."

Ladies - Cure for headaches: Take a lime, cut it in half and rub it on
your forehead. The throbbing will go away.

Real Women - Take a lime, mix it with tequila, chill and drink. You
might still have the headache, but who cares?
Ladies - Stuff a miniature marshmallow! In the bottom of a sugar cone to
prevent ice cream drips.

Real Women - Just suck the ice cream out of the bottom of the cone, for
Pete's sake. You are probably lying your ass on the couch, with your
feet up anyway.
Ladies - To keep potatoes from budding, place an apple in the bag with
the potatoes.
Real Women - Buy boxed mashed potato mix and you don't have to worry
about the potatoes growing arms and legs.

Ladies - When a cake recipe calls for flouring the baking pan, use a bit of
the dry cake mix instead and there won't be any white mess on the inside
of the cake.

Real Women - Go to the bakery - they'll even decorate the sonofabitch
for you.

Ladies - If you have a problem opening jars, try using latex
dishwashing gloves. They give a non slip grip that makes opening jars

Real Women - Go ask the very HOT neighbor guy to do it.

And finally the most important tip....

Ladies - Don't throw out all that leftover wine. Freeze into ice cubes for
future use in casseroles and sauces.

Real Women - Leftover wine??

A good friend will come and bail you out of jail...but, a true friend will
be sitting next to you saying, "Damn...that was fun!"