April Fools Day and little old lady

April Fools Day and Little Old Lady in court.....

Defense Attorney: Will you please state your age?

Little Old Lady: I am 86 years old.

Defense Attorney: Will you tell us, in your own words, what happened the night of April 1st?

Little Old Lady: There I was, sitting there in my swing on my front porch on a warm spring evening, when a young man comes creeping up on the porch and sat down beside me.

Defense Attorney: Did you know him?

Little Old Lady: No, but he sure was friendly.

Defense Attorney: What happened after he sat down?

Little Old Lady: He started to rub my thigh.

Defense Attorney: Did you stop him?

Little Old Lady: No, I didn't stop him.

Defense Attorney: Why not?

Little Old Lady: It felt good. Nobody had done that since my Abler died some 30 years ago.

Defense Attorney: What happened next?

Little Old Lady: He began to rub my breasts.

Defense Attorney: Did you stop him then?

Little Old Lady: No, I did not stop him.

Defense Attorney: Why not?

Little Old Lady: His rubbing made me feel all alive and excited.I haven't felt that good in years!

Defense Attorney: What happened next?

Little Old Lady: Well, by then, I was feeling really "spicy" so

I just laid down and told him "Take me, young man. Take me!"

Defense Attorney: Did he take you?

Little Old Lady: Hell, no! He just yelled, "April Fool!" And that's when I shot him, the little CENSORED...

Comments

Ashish SHUKLA said…

ROFL :-)

April 1, 2010 at 3:16 PM

Twenty hilarious funny quotes

1. Regular naps prevent old age, especially if you take them while driving. (My personal favorite funny quotes ) 2. Having one child makes you a parent; having two you are a referee. 3. Marriage is a relationship in which one person is always right and the other is the husband! 4. I believe we should all pay our tax with a smile. I tried - but they wanted cash. 5. Don't feel bad. A lot of people have no talent. 6. Don't marry the person you want to live with, marry the one you cannot live without, but whatever you do, you'll regret it later. 7. You can't buy love, but you pay heavily for it. 8. Bad officials are elected by good citizens who do not vote. 9. Laziness is nothing more than the habit of resting before you get tired. 10. Marriage is give and take. You'd better give it to her or she will take it anyway. 11. My wife and I always compromise. I admit I'm wrong and she agrees with me. 12. Those who can't laugh at themselves

sex frequency formula

How often the best sex? This is probably a lot of people have had questions in mind. The U.S. scholars under the influence of age on sexuality law, summed up a 'sex frequency formula' - the age of first sexual frequency = number * 9. that is their own age, multiplied by ten digit 9, the product of ten digits from a sexual cycle is the last number of days, and was due a bit of sexual frequency. According to the U.S. Women's Health magazine, this formula applies to adults over the age of 20, such as a 25-year-old man, his (her) sex formula for 2 * 9 = 18,18 and 8 of 10 combination, that is for him (her) sex frequency of eight times within 10 days of life, over a frequency on which too frequently, may cause discomfort. The sex chart is below, Take a look at the chart and see if it matches with you ? ... ;)

Funny Marriage Jokes

Relax and enjoy funny marriage jokes and lol The husband returns home one day and tells his wife, "Hi Honey, look, I've bought the new Rolling Stones CD." "Why did you do that?, We don't even have a CD player!" replied the wife .. And husband says "So what ... have i ever asked why you keep on buying bras?" ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------ If your dog is barking at the back door and your wife is yelling at the front door, who do you let in first? - The dog, He'll shut up once you let him in. ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------ A guy is down on his luck. He takes his last $500 and goes to Las Vegas. Overnight, he has a fantastic run of luck. He stumbles out of the casino and finds a pay phone. He calls his wife and says, "Honey, pack your bags, I just won over a million dollars in Vegas."

Its All Humor

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