Skip to main content

Thirty points to note you are getting older when

I just can't drink the way I used to", replaces, "I'm never going to drink that much again".

06:00 AM is when you get up, not when you go to bed.

90% of the time you spend in front of a computer is for real work.

A $4.00 bottle of wine is no longer "pretty good stuff".

A 'late night' now ends at 11 pm.

About half the stuff in my shopping cart says, "For fast relief".

All you want for your birthday is to not be reminded of your age.

All your favorite music is in the bargain bin at Wal-Mart.

An "all nighter" means not getting up to pee!

At the breakfast table you hear snap, crackle, pop and you're not eating cereal.

Conversations with people your own age often turn into "dueling ailments."

Dinner and a movie is the whole date instead of the beginning of one.

Eating a basket of buffalo wings at 3 AM would severely upset, rather than settle, your stomach.

Everything hurts and what doesn't hurt, doesn't work.

Getting a little action means you don't need to take a laxative.

Getting lucky means you find your car in the parking lot.

Grocery lists are longer than macaroni & cheese, diet Pepsi and Ho-Ho's

Happy hour is a nap.

Having sex in a twin-sized bed is absurd.

It takes longer to rest than it did to get tired.

It takes twice as long to look half as good.

It takes two tries to get up from the couch.

It's tougher to lose weight, because over time your body and your fat are really good friends.

Jeans and a sweater no longer qualify as "dressed up."

Many of your co-workers were born the same year that you got your last promotion.

MTV News is no longer your primary source for information.

You have more hair growing out of your ears than you have on your head.

You have more patience, but it is actually that you just don't care anymore.

You have to stop jogging for your health because your thighs rubbing together start your panty hose on fire.

You have a party and the neighbors don't even realize it.

Comments

stephen Hayes said…
Quite a few good ones here. Have a great Thanksgiving!

Popular posts from this blog

Twenty hilarious funny quotes

1. Regular naps prevent old age, especially if you take them while driving. (My personal favorite funny quotes ) 2. Having one child makes you a parent; having two you are a referee. 3. Marriage is a relationship in which one person is always right and the other is the husband! 4. I believe we should all pay our tax with a smile. I tried - but they wanted cash. 5. Don't feel bad. A lot of people have no talent. 6. Don't marry the person you want to live with, marry the one you cannot live without, but whatever you do, you'll regret it later. 7. You can't buy love, but you pay heavily for it. 8. Bad officials are elected by good citizens who do not vote. 9. Laziness is nothing more than the habit of resting before you get tired. 10. Marriage is give and take. You'd better give it to her or she will take it anyway. 11. My wife and I always compromise. I admit I'm wrong and she agrees with me. 12. Those who can't laugh at themselves

sex frequency formula

How often the best sex?  This is probably a lot of people have had questions in mind. The U.S. scholars under the influence of age on sexuality law, summed up a 'sex frequency formula' - the age of first sexual frequency = number * 9. that is their own age, multiplied by ten digit 9, the product of ten digits from a sexual cycle is the last number of days, and was due a bit of sexual frequency. According to the U.S. Women's Health magazine, this formula applies to adults over the age of 20, such as a 25-year-old man, his (her) sex formula for 2 * 9 = 18,18 and 8 of 10 combination, that is for him (her) sex frequency of eight times within 10 days of life, over a frequency on which too frequently, may cause discomfort. The sex chart is below, Take a look at the chart and see if it matches with you ?  ...  ;)  

Funny Marriage Jokes

Relax and enjoy funny marriage jokes and lol The husband returns home one day and tells his wife, "Hi Honey, look, I've bought the new Rolling Stones CD." "Why did you do that?, We don't even have a CD player!" replied the wife .. And husband says "So what ... have i ever asked why you keep on buying bras?" ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------ If your dog is barking at the back door and your wife is yelling at the front door, who do you let in first? - The dog, He'll shut up once you let him in. ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------ A guy is down on his luck. He takes his last $500 and goes to Las Vegas. Overnight, he has a fantastic run of luck. He stumbles out of the casino and finds a pay phone. He calls his wife and says, "Honey, pack your bags, I just won over a million dollars in Vegas."

Enter your email address: