Women are unpredictable. Before marriage, she
expects a man, after marriage she suspects him, and after death she
There was this guy who told his woman that he loved
her so much that he would go thru hell for her. They got married - and
now he is going thru hell.
A man inserted an 'ad' in the classifieds : "Wife
wanted ". Next day, he received a hundred letters. They all said the
same thing : "You can have mine."
When a man opens the door of his car for his wife,
you can be sure of one thing: either the car is new or the wife.
It's easy to tell if a man is married or not. Just
watch him drive a car with a woman sitting beside him. If both his hands
are on the wheel, you can be sure he is married.
A man received a letter from some kidnappers. The
letter said, "If you don't promise to send us $100,000 I swear that we
will kidnap your wife." The poor man wrote back, " I am afraid I can't
keep my promise but I hope you will keep yours."
What's the matter, you look depressed." "I'm having
trouble with my wife." "What happened?" "She said she wasn't going to
speak to me for 30 days." "But that ought to make you happy." "It did,
but today is the last day."
When she is 18 - She is a football, 22 men going after
her. When she is 28 - She is a hockey ball, 8 men going after her. When
she is 38 - She is a golf ball, 1 man hitting on her. When she is 48 - She
is a pingpong ball, 2 men pushing to each other.
At 20 - A man is like a coconut, so much to offer, so little to give.
At 30 - He is like a durian, dangerous but delicious.
At 40 - He is like a watermelon, big, round and juicy.
At 50 - He is like a mandarin orange, the season comes once in a year.
At 60 - He is just like a raisin, dried out, wrinkles and cheap.
Marriage Humor In the beginning,
-- God created earth and rested. Then God created men
and rested. Then God created women. Since then, neither God nor men has rested.