Thursday, January 3, 2013

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Knock Knock Jokes


"Knock-Knock!"
"Who's there?"
"Stu!"
"Stu- who?"
"Stupid villains lose every time!"
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"Knock-Knock!"
"Who's there?"
"Robin!"
"Robin-who?"
"Someone is ROBIN the bank!"
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Knock Knock
Who's there?
Knock Knock
Who's there??
Knock Knock
Who's there??
Just leave me alone!------------------------------------------------------
"Knock-Knock!"
"Who's there?"
"Howie!"
"Howie-who?"
"Howie gonna pop that zit?"

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"Knock-Knock!" 

"Who's there?"
"Walter!"
"Walter-who?"
"Walter you gonna do about that zit?"
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"Knock-Knock!"
"Who's there?"
"Dewey!"
"Dewey-who?"
"Dewey have to keep telling these Knock Knock jokes????"
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Knock Knock
Who's there?
Ach
Ach who?
God Bless You!
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Knock Knock
Who's there?
A little boy
A little boy who?
A little boy who can't reach the doorbell.
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Knock Knock
Who's there?
Hoo
Hoo Who?
Hey! Stop acting like an Owl!
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How to fish

Mike sees Jake standing beside a lake with a mirror in his hand.

Mike: What are you doing?

Jake: I'm fishing.

Mike: With a mirror?

Jake: That's right. It's a new technique I discovered. I'm gonna make so much money with this.

Mike: Can you let me in on this technique of yours?

Jake: Sure, if you pay me 100 bucks.

Mike pays Jake.

Jake: Ok, here's the deal. You hold this mirror so that it faces the water. If you see a fish, scare it with the reflection off the mirror. Once it faints you just scoop it out of the water.

Mike: What a load of bull crap. You won't get any fish that way! How many did you catch?

Jake: You're the fifth one today.


After the shower

After the wife finished taking a shower, the husband is about to take a shower when the door bell rings.

After arguing for a while about who's going to answer the door, the wife yields. She wraps herself in a towel and goes to answer the door.

When she opens the door, she sees their neighbour Bob.

Before she manages to say anything, Bob tells her, "I'll give you 800 bucks if you take that towel off."

The wife thinks for a while, then she takes off her towel and stands in front of Bob fully naked. A moment later Bob pays up and leaves.

The wife, feeling confused and lucky at the same time, puts on her towel and goes upstairs.

When she returns to the bathroom, the husband asks, "Who was that at the door?"

She answered, "Oh, it's Bob next door."

To which the husband replies, "Oh good, did he return the 800 bucks that he owes me?"

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