Thursday, September 4, 2014

Psychiatrists VS Bartender

EVER SINCE I WAS A CHILD, I'VE ALWAYS HAD A FEAR OF SOMEONE UNDER MY BED
AT NIGHT. SO I WENT TO A SHRINK AND TOLD HIM:

I've got problems. Every time I go to bed I think there's somebody under
It. I'm scared. I think I'm going crazy.

Just put yourself in my hands for one year, said the shrink. Come talk to
Me three times a week and we should be able to get rid of those fears.

How much do you charge?
Eighty dollars per visit, replied the doctor.

I'll sleep on it, I said.

Six months later the doctor met me on the street. Why didn't you come to
See me about those fears you were having? He asked.

Well, Eighty bucks a visit, three times a week for a year, is $12,480.00.
A bartender cured me for $10.00. I was so happy to have saved all
That money that I went and bought me a new pickup truck.

Is that so? With a bit of an attitude he said, and how, may I ask, did a
Bartender cure you?

He told me to cut the legs off the bed. Ain't nobody under there now.

FORGET THE SHRINKS..
HAVE A DRINK & TALK TO A BARTENDER!
IT"S ALWAYS BETTER TO GET A SECOND OPINION

Wednesday, September 3, 2014

Three Best Ways to Fail Drunk Driving Test

Three Best Ways to Fail Drunk Driving Test, don't try this at home ;)

Tuesday, September 2, 2014

Ten Husbands Still a Virgin

A lawyer married a woman who had previously divorced ten husbands.

On their wedding night, she told her new husband, "Please be gentle, I'm still a virgin."

"What?" said the puzzled groom.

"How can that be if you've been married ten times?"

"Well, Husband #1 was a sales representative: he kept telling me how great it was going to be.

Husband #2 was in software services: he was never really sure how it was supposed to function, but he said he'd look into it and get back to me.

Husband #3 was from field services: he said everything checked out diagnostically but he just couldn't get the system up.

Husband #4 was in telemarketing: even though he knew he had the order, he didn't know when he would be able to deliver.

Husband #5 was an engineer: he understood the basic process but wanted three years to research, implement, and design a new state-of-the-art method.

Husband #6 was from finance and administration: he thought he knew how, but he wasn't sure whether it was his job or not.

Husband #7 was in marketing: although he had a nice product, he was never sure how to position it.

Husband #8 was a psychologist: all he ever did was talk about it.

Husband #9 was a gynecologist: all he did was look at it.

Husband #10 was a stamp collector: all he ever did was... God! I miss him! But now that I've married you, I'm really excited!"

"Good," said the new husband, "but, why?"

"You're a lawyer. This time I know I'm gonna get screwed!"

Thursday, April 10, 2014

Call Centre joke

Joanne to call centre:

My internet is not working properly

Officer:
Ok
Double click on "My computer"

Joanne:
I can't see your computer

Officer:
No no
click on "My computer" on your computer

Joanne:
How can I click on your computer from my computer?

Officer:
listen
There is an icon labelled "My Computer" on your computer
Ok
double click on it

Joanne:
what the hell, what is yoyour computer doing on my computer...?

Officer:
Double click on your computer

Joanne:
On which Icon i have to click

Officer:
"My Computer":-

Joanne:
Tell me where is your house. I'll come there and click on your "My Computer"

Wednesday, April 9, 2014

The DEA Agent

The DEA(Drug Enforcement Agency) Agent stopped at a ranch in Texas and talked to an old rancher. He told the rancher, "I need to inspect your ranch for illegally grown drugs." The rancher said, "okay, but don't go into that field over there...", as he pointed out the location.

The DEA Agent verbally exploded and said, "look mister, I have the authority of the federal government with me!" Reaching into his rear back pocket, the arrogant officer removed his badge and proudly displayed it to the rancher. "See this badge?! This badge means I can go wherever I want... On any land! No questions asked, no answers given! Do you understand old man?!"

The rancher kindly nodded, apologized, and went about his chores. Moments later the rancher heard loud screams, he looked up and saw the DEA agent running for his life, being chased by the ranchers big Santa Gertrudis Bull...... With every step the bull was gaining ground on the officer, and it was likely that he'd sure enough get gored before he reached safety. The officer was clearly terrified. The old rancher threw down his tools, ran as fast as he could to the fence, and yelled at the top of his lungs......

"YOUR BADGE! SHOW HIM YOUR BADGE!"

Tuesday, March 25, 2014

Funny and The Best Commercial Video Ever Made

Watch till the end of the video to get your laugh of the day ... If you love pets you should watch the funny and the best commercial video ever made below ...

Monday, March 3, 2014

Application For Night Out

Application for night out - MEN

application for night out - MEN


Application for night out - WOMEN


Saturday, March 1, 2014

No More Girls Night Out

no more girls night out

Thursday, January 16, 2014

Compilation of Funny Vine Videos

Trust me this compilation is the best ever collection of funny vine videos... A big LOL goes for this video and the compiler of this video

Tuesday, January 14, 2014

Intelligent Funny Answers

Q.If you had three apples and four oranges in one hand and four apples and three oranges in the other hand, what would you have? 
A. Very large hands

Q.How can you drop a raw egg onto a concrete floor without cracking it? 
A. Concrete floors are very hard to crack !

Q. How can a man go eight days without sleep? 
A. No Problem, he sleeps at night

Q.If it took eight men ten hours to build a wall, how long would it take four men to build it? 
A. No time at all it is already built

Q. How can you lift an elephant with one hand? 
A. It is not a problem, since you will never find an elephant with one hand

Q. Bay of Bengal is in which state? 
A : Liquid

Q. If you throw a red stone into the blue sea what it will become? 
A. It will Wet or Sink as simple as that.

Q. What happened when wheel was invented? 
A : It caused a revolution.

Q. What looks like half apple? 
A : The other half.

Q. What can you never eat for breakfast? 
A : Dinner