Wednesday, October 27, 2010

Mobile Love

Several men are in the locker room of a golf club.

A phone on a bench rings and a man engages the hands free speaker-function and begins to talk. Everyone else in the room stops to listen.

MAN: "Hello"

WOMAN: "Honey, it's me. Are you at the club?"

MAN: "Yes"

WOMAN: "I am at the shop now and found this beautiful leather coat. It's only $1,000. Is it OK if I buy it?"

MAN: "Sure, ..go ahead if you like it that much."

WOMAN: "I also stopped by the Mercedes dealership and saw the new 2010 hot models. I saw one I really liked."
MAN : " How much ? "

WOMAN : " $70,000 "

MAN: "Really, go for it? But at that price make sure you get it with all the options!"

WOMAN: "Thank you honey" Oh, and one more thing .... The house we wanted last year is back on the market"

MAN: "Well, then go ahead and give them an offer."

WOMAN: "They're asking $750,000."

MAN: " Go ahead and give them an offer of $700,000. They will probably take it. If not, we can go the extra $50,000 because it's really what you want."
WOMAN : "OK. I'll see you later! I love you so much!"

MAN: "Bye, I love you, too."

The man hangs up. The other men in the locker room are looking at him in astonishment.

Then turns and asks: "Anyone know who’s this phone belongs to?"

Saturday, October 23, 2010

The Divorced Barbie Doll


One day a father gets out of work and on his way home he suddenly remembers that it's his daughter's birthday. He pulls over to a Toy Shop and asks the sales person, 'How much for one of those Barbie's in the display window?' The salesperson answers, 'Which one do you mean, Sir? We have: Work Out Barbie for $19.95, Shopping Barbie for $19.95, Beach Barbie for $19.95, Disco Barbie for $19.95, Ballerina Barbie for $19.95, Astronaut Barbie for $19.95, Skater Barbie for $19.95, and Divorced Barbie for $265.95'.

The amazed father asks: 'It's what?! Why is the Divorced Barbie $265.95 and the others only $19.95?'

The annoyed salesperson rolls her eyes, sighs, and answers: 'Sir..., Divorced Barbie comes with: Ken's Car, Ken's House, Ken's Boat, Ken's Furniture, Ken's Computer, one of Ken's Friends, and a key chain made with Ken's balls

Friday, October 15, 2010

Types of cool riders

Friday, October 8, 2010

A Letter to Dad

A father passing by his teenage daughter's bedroom
was astonished to see the bed was nicely made and everything was neat and
tidy. Then he saw an envelope propped up prominently on the centre of
the pillow. It was addressed "Dad". With the worst premonition, he
opened the envelope and read the letter with trembling hands:-

Dear Dad,
It is with great regret and sorrow that I'm
writing you, but I'm leaving home. I had to elope with my new boyfriend
Randy because I wanted to avoid a scene with Mom and you. I've been
finding real passion with Randy and he is
so nice to me. I know when you meet him you'll like him too - even
with all his piercing, tattoos, and motorcycle clothes. But
it's not only the passion Dad, I'm pregnant and Randy said that he
wants me to have the kid and that
we can be very happy together. Even though
Randy is much older than me (anyway, 42 isn't so
old these days is it?),
and has no money, really these things shouldn't
stand in the way of our
relationship, don't you agree?

Randy has a great CD collection; he already owns a
trailer in the woods
and has a stack of firewood for the whole winter. It's
true he has other girlfriends as well but I know he'll be faithful
to me in his own way.
He wants to have many more children with me and
that's now one of my dreams too.

Randy taught me that marijuana doesn't really hurt
anyone and he'll be growing it for us and we'll trade it with our
friends for all the cocaine and ecstasy we want. In the meantime, we'll
pray that science will find a
cure for AIDS so Randy can get better; he sure
deserves it!!

Don't worry Dad, I'm 15 years old now and I know
how to take care of myself.
Someday I'm sure we'll be back to visit so you can
get to know your grandchildren.

Your loving daughter,
Rosie.



At the bottom of the page were the letters "PTO".
Hands still trembling,
her father turned the sheet, and read:

PS: Dad, none of the above is true. I'm over at
the neighbor's house.
I just wanted to remind you that there are worse
things in life than my report card that's in my desk centre drawer.
Please sign it and call when it is
safe for me to come home. I love you!