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Showing posts from 2014

Psychiatrists VS Bartender

EVER SINCE I WAS A CHILD, I'VE ALWAYS HAD A FEAR OF SOMEONE UNDER MY BED AT NIGHT. SO I WENT TO A SHRINK AND TOLD HIM: I've got problems. Every time I go to bed I think there's somebody under It. I'm scared. I think I'm going crazy. Just put yourself in my hands for one year, said the shrink. Come talk to Me three times a week and we should be able to get rid of those fears. How much do you charge? Eighty dollars per visit, replied the doctor. I'll sleep on it, I said. Six months later the doctor met me on the street. Why didn't you come to See me about those fears you were having? He asked. Well, Eighty bucks a visit, three times a week for a year, is $12,480.00. A bartender cured me for $10.00. I was so happy to have saved all That money that I went and bought me a new pickup truck. Is that so? With a bit of an attitude he said, and how, may I ask, did a Bartender cure you? He told me to cut the legs off the bed. Ain't nobody u

Ten Husbands Still a Virgin

A lawyer married a woman who had previously divorced ten husbands. On their wedding night, she told her new husband, "Please be gentle, I'm still a virgin." "What?" said the puzzled groom. "How can that be if you've been married ten times?" "Well, Husband #1 was a sales representative: he kept telling me how great it was going to be. Husband #2 was in software services: he was never really sure how it was supposed to function, but he said he'd look into it and get back to me. Husband #3 was from field services: he said everything checked out diagnostically but he just couldn't get the system up. Husband #4 was in telemarketing: even though he knew he had the order, he didn't know when he would be able to deliver. Husband #5 was an engineer: he understood the basic process but wanted three years to research, implement, and design a new state-of-the-art method. Husband #6 was from finance and administration: he tho

Call Centre joke

Joanne to call centre: My internet is not working properly Officer: Ok Double click on "My computer" Joanne: I can't see your computer Officer: No no click on "My computer" on your computer Joanne: How can I click on your computer from my computer? Officer: listen There is an icon labelled "My Computer" on your computer Ok double click on it Joanne: what the hell, what is yoyour computer doing on my computer...? Officer: Double click on your computer Joanne: On which Icon i have to click Officer: "My Computer":- Joanne: Tell me where is your house. I'll come there and click on your "My Computer"

The DEA Agent

The DEA(Drug Enforcement Agency) Agent stopped at a ranch in Texas and talked to an old rancher. He told the rancher, "I need to inspect your ranch for illegally grown drugs." The rancher said, "okay, but don't go into that field over there...", as he pointed out the location. The DEA Agent verbally exploded and said, "look mister, I have the authority of the federal government with me!" Reaching into his rear back pocket, the arrogant officer removed his badge and proudly displayed it to the rancher. "See this badge?! This badge means I can go wherever I want... On any land! No questions asked, no answers given! Do you understand old man?!" The rancher kindly nodded, apologized, and went about his chores. Moments later the rancher heard loud screams, he looked up and saw the DEA agent running for his life, being chased by the ranchers big Santa Gertrudis Bull...... With every step the bull was gaining ground on the officer, and it was

Application For Night Out

Application for night out - MEN Application for night out - WOMEN

No More Girls Night Out

Intelligent Funny Answers

Q.If you had three apples and four oranges in one hand and four apples and three oranges in the other hand, what would you have?  A. Very large hands Q.How can you drop a raw egg onto a concrete floor without cracking it?  A. Concrete floors are very hard to crack ! Q. How can a man go eight days without sleep?  A. No Problem, he sleeps at night Q.If it took eight men ten hours to build a wall, how long would it take four men to build it?  A. No time at all it is already built Q. How can you lift an elephant with one hand?  A. It is not a problem, since you will never find an elephant with one hand Q. Bay of Bengal is in which state?  A : Liquid Q. If you throw a red stone into the blue sea what it will become?  A. It will Wet or Sink as simple as that. Q. What happened when wheel was invented?  A : It caused a revolution. Q. What looks like half apple?  A : The other half. Q. What can you never eat for breakfast?  A : Dinner

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