Its All Humor

Husband - hey dear, I am logged in. Wife - would you like to have some snacks? Husband - hard disk full. Wife - have you brought the saree. Husband - Bad command or file name. Wife - but I told you about it in morning Husband - erroneous syntax, abort, retry, cancel. Wife - hae bhagwan !forget it where's your salary. Husband - file in use, read only, try after some time. Wife - at least give me your credit card, I can do some shopping. Husband - sharing violation, access denied. Wife - I made a mistake in marrying you. Husband - data type mismatch. Wife - you are useless. Husband - by default. Wife - who was there with you in the car this morning? Husband - system unstable press ctrl, alt, del to Reboot. Wife - what is the relation between you & your Receptionist? Husband - the only user with write permission. Wife - what is my value in your life? Husband - unknown virus detected. Wife - do you love me or your computer? Husband - Too many parameters. Wife - I will go to my dad...

Using the Google translator translate sentences. http://www.google.com/language_tools?hl=en Use whatever sentence you want! Next, translate it into Japanese. Then, take the translated sentence, and translate it into Russian. Lastly, translate this back into English, and see how your sentence has been altered! This is really fun! Here's the steps in a simpler format: 1. Translate sentence from English to Japanese. 2. Translate from Japanese to Russian 3. Translate from Russian to English 4. Post your results back here! So i will start sentence is I like candies. English to Japanese:私はお菓子が好きです。 Japanese to Russian:Я люблю конфеты. Russian to English:I like candies.

* Motorcycles only need their fluids changed every 2000 miles. * Motorcycles' curves never sag. * Motorcycles last longer. * Motorcycles don't get pregnant. * You can ride a Motorcycles any time of the month. * Motorcycles don't have parents. * Motorcycles don't whine unless something is really wrong. * You can kick your Motorcycle to wake it up. * You can share your Motorcycle with your friends. * If your Motorcycle makes too much noise, you can buy a muffler. * You only need to get a new chain or belt for your Motorcycle when the old one is really worn. * If your Motorcycle smokes, you can do something about it. * Motorcycles don't care about how many other Motorcycles you have ridden. * When riding, you and your Motorcycle both arrive at the same time. * Motorcycles don't care about how many other Motorcycles you have. * Motorcycles don't mind if you look at other Motorcycles, or if you buy Motorcycle magazines. * New Motorcycles must be asked for, and if...

Easter Egg questions and answers in hilarious comedy style ... Q. How did the eggs leave the highway? A. They went through the "Eggs-it". Q. What happened to the egg when he was tickled too much? A. He cracked up. Q. Why couldn't the eggs go out on a hot summer day? A. They were afraid they would fry! Q. What did the egg say to the clown? A. You crack me up! Q. What part did the egg play in the movies? A. He was an "Egg-stra". Q. What do you call a sleeping egg? A. Egg-zosted! Q. What did the eggs do when the light turned green? A. They egg-cellerated. Q. What do you call an egg who is on the computer too much? A. An "Egg Head". Q. Why didn't the egg play on the computer very much? A. His brain would be fried. Q. What sport are the eggs good at? A. Running! Q. What did the eggs do on the Internet? A. They looked for a good egg-site! Q. Why couldn't the egg family watch T.V.? A. Because their cable was scrambled. Q. What website do eggs go on to...

This is an actual job application someone submitted at a McDonald's fast-food establishment AND THEY HIRED HIM. ( NAME: George Ballmun DESIRED POSITION: Reclining. HA HA, but seriously, whatever is available. If I was in a position to be picky, I wouldn't be applying here in the first place. DESIRED SALARY: $185,000 a year plus stock options and a Michael Ovitz style severance package. If that's not possible make an offer and we can haggle. EDUCATION: Yes. LAST POSITION HELD: Target for middle management hostility. SALARY: Less than I'm worth. MOST NOTABLE ACHIEVEMENT: My incredible collection of stolen pens and post-it notes. REASON FOR LEAVING: It sucked. HOURS AVAILABLE TO WORK: Any. PREFERRED HOURS: 1:30-3:30 p.m., Monday, Tuesday, and Thursday. DO YOU HAVE ANY SPECIAL SKILLS?: Yes, but they're better suited to a more intimate environment. MAY WE CONTACT YOUR CURRENT EMPLOYER?: If I had one, would I be here? DO YOU HAVE ANY PHYSICAL CONDITIONS THAT WOULD PR...

1.) Order pizza and other food to their house and pick it up at their doorstep claiming that you don't have a phone. 2.) Stand over the plants in your yard with a hose and Scream, "I have your life in my hands, bow down to me!". Then point at each one and declare them good or bad plants, while watering the bad ones. 3.) Bring them restraining orders on inanimate objects in their house. (i.e.: chairs, books, lamps, etc.) 4.) Ask them if you can put your trash in their cans, if they ask why say, "Mine are full of bodies", then stutter and say, "I uh mean other garbage." walk away laughing hysterically. 5.) Patrol the perimeter of your yard while carrying a broom. If they come close state that there is a 3 foot neutral area between the two yards. 6.) At night transplant the plants in their garden. In the morning say, "looks like they're on the move again." 7.) When they're watching TV, pull a lawn chair behind their window. Sit down with...

A man left the snowballed streets of Chicago for a vacation in Florida. His wife was on a business trip and was planning to meet him there the next day. When he reached his hotel, he decided to send his wife a quick e-mail. Unable to find the piece of paper on which he had written her e-mail address, he did his best to type it from his memory. Unfortunately, he missed one letter, and his Email was send to an elderly preacher's wife whose husband had passed away only the day before. When the grieving widow checked her e-mail, she took one look at the monitor, let out a piercing scream, and fell to the floor dead. At the sound, her family rushed into the room and saw this note on the screen: Dearest Wife, Just got checked in. Everything prepared for your arrival tomorrow. Your Loving Husband. Very Happy Thanks.

MICROSOFT AND YAHOO Rake The Leaves, Son Can’t Catch a Break The Dark Side of Google Chrome COLOR FAA Communication Flop Should You Buy a Smartphone or Gas? Cell Phone Ban Like cartoons?....

UNIX is simple. But it just needs a genius to understand its simplicity . -Dennis Ritchie Before software can be reusable, it first has to be usable. -Ralph Johnson Good judgment comes from experience, and experience comes from bad judgment. -Fred Brooks It's hard enough to find an error in your code when you're looking for it; It's even harder when you've assumed your code is error-free. -Steve McConnell Code Complete The trouble with the world is that the stupid are sure and the intelligent are full of doubt. -Bertrand Russell If debugging is the process of removing bugs, then programming must be the process of putting them in. -Edsger Dijkstra You can either have software quality or you can have pointer arithmetic; You cannot have both at the same time. -Bertrand Meyer There are two ways to write error-free programs; only the third works. -Alan J. Perlis Measuring programming progress by lines of code is like measuring aircraft building progress by weight. -Bill Gat...

Best Joke in the world A couple of New Jersey hunters are out in the woods when one of them falls to the ground. He doesn't seem to be breathing, his eyes are rolled back in his head. The other guy whips out his cell phone and calls the emergency services. He gasps to the operator: “My friend is dead! What can I do?” The operator, in a calm soothing voice says: “Just take it easy. I can help. First, let's make sure he's dead.” There is a silence, then a shot is heard. The guy's voice comes back on the line. He says: “OK, now what?“ Second Place Sherlock Holmes and Dr Watson go on a camping trip. After a good dinner and a bottle of wine, they retire for the night, and go to sleep. Some hours later, Holmes wakes up and nudges his faithful friend. “Watson, look up at the sky and tell me what you see.” “I see millions and millions of stars, Holmes” replies Watson. “And what do you deduce from that?” Watson ponders for a minute. “Well, bullet Astronomically, it tells me th...

An MBA(Management in Business Administration) and a CA(Chartered Accountant) go on a camping trip , set up their tent ,and fell asleep. Some hours later, the CA(Chartered Accountant) wakes his MBA(Management in Business Administration) friend and says "Look up at the sky and tell me what you see." The MBA replies, "I see millions of stars." The CA asks, "What does that tell you?" The MBA ponders for a minute. " Astronomically speaking, it tells me that there are millions of galaxies and potentially billions of planets. Astrologically , it tells me that Saturn is in Leo. Time wise, it appears to be approximately a quarter past three. Theologically , it's evident the Lord is all-powerful and we are small and insignificant. Meteorologically , it seems we will have a beautiful day tomorrow. What does it tell you?" The CA(Chartered Accountant) is silent for a momen...

A man who just died is delivered to a Glasgow mortuary wearing an expensive, expertly tailored black suit. Big Tam the mortician asks the deceased's wife how she would like the body dressed. He points out that the man does look very good in the black suit he is already wearing. The widow, however, says that she always thought her husband looked his best in blue. She gives Tam a blank cheque and says, 'I don't care what it costs, but please have my husband in a blue suit for the viewing.' The woman returns the next day. To her delight she finds her husband dressed in a gorgeous blue suit with a subtle chalk stripe; the suit fits him perfectly. She says to Tam, 'Whatever the cost, I'm very satisfied. You did an excellent job and I'm very grateful. How much did you spend?' To her astonishment, Tam presents her with the blank cheque. 'No charge, 'he says. 'No, really, I must pay you for the cost of that exquisite blue suit!' she says. 'Ho...

Why Italian Fathers and Grandfathers pass their handguns down through the family... An old Italian Mafia Don is dying. He calls his grandson to his bedside. "Guido, I wanna you lissina me. I wanna you to take-a my chrome plated .38 revolver so you will always remember me." "But grandpa, I really don't like guns. How about you leave me your Rolex watch instead?" "You lissina me, boy. Somma day you gonna be runna da business, you gonna have a beautiful wife, lots a money, a big-a home and maybe a couple of bambinos" "Anna somma day you gonna come-a home and maybe find a you wife inna bed with another man. Whatta you gonna do then?

One morning at a doctor's surgery a patient arrives complaining of serious back-pain. The doctor examines him and asks him "OK, what happened to your back?" The patient replies "You know that I work for a local night club? This morning I got home to my apartment early and heard a noise in my bedroom. On entering I knew someone had been with my wife and the balcony door was open. I rushed out the balcony door and did not find anyone. As I looked down from the balcony I saw a man running out and he was dressing himself. I grabbed the fridge and threw it at him,That's how I strained my back" The 2nd patient arrives looking as if he has been in a car wreck. The doctor said "My previous patient looked bad, but you look terrible.What the hell happened to you?" He replied, "You know I have been unemployed for a while now .Today was the first day at my new job. I forgot to set my alarm and was running late. I was running out of the building, getting d...

Some good ones to play on friends or create havoc for enemies. Warning: Your friends may become enemies after pulling some of these on them! 1. The Restart Remap We start with one sure to throw off even the most advanced Windows user. Setup is simple and you need only a few seconds alone on someone's computer. When you get a chance, sneak over and right-click your pal’s icon to Internet Explorer or some other commonly used program. Edit the properties and change the target to: "%windir%\system32\shutdown.exe -r -t 00". Now, every time your buddy tries to run IE, his machine will mysteriously restart — and your laughter will instantly result. 2. Startup Folder Fun While we're on the topic of system startup, the Windows Startup folder is a fantastic place for fun. Create a text file with an amusing message and throw it in there so your cubicle mate will get a daily greeting — or, if you really want to get evil, add in the restart shortcut from above (not recommended unl...

Two engineering students, one pushing a bike, were walking across a university campus when the other said, "Where did you get such a great bike?"The second engineer replied, "Well, I was walking along yesterday, minding my own business, when a beautiful woman rode up on this bike, threw it to the ground, took off all her clothes and said, "Take what you want."The first engineer nodded approvingly and said, "Good choice; the clothes probably wouldn't have fit you anyway." Understanding Engineers : Two To the optimist, the glass is half full. To the pessimist, the glass is half empty. To the engineer, the glass is twice as big as it needs to be. Understanding Engineers: Three A priest, a doctor, and an engineer were waiting one morning for a particularly slow group of golfers.The engineer fumed, "What's with those guys? We must have been waiting for fifteen minutes!"The doctor chimed in, "I don't know, but I've never seen ...

Engineer VS Management (Plz Do not take it personal if you are engineer or manager... its a joke for smiling not a poke..!) A woman in a hot air balloon realized she was lost. She reduced altitude and spotted a man below. She descended a bit more and shouted, 'Excuse me sir, can you help me? I promised a friend I would meet him an hour ago but I don't know where I am.' The man below replied, 'You're in a hot air balloon hovering approximately 30 feet above the ground. You're between 40 and 41 degrees north latitude and between 59 and 60 degrees west longitude.' 'You must be an engineer ,' said the lady balloonist. 'I am', replied the man. 'How did you know?' 'Well, answered the balloonist, 'everything you told me is technically correct, but I've no idea what to make of your information, and the fact is I'm still lost. Frankly, you've not been much help to me at all. If anything you've delayed my trip even more....

The picture below will calculate your imagination power Doesn't she look hot from inside the glass. I must admit its one of the best and creative thinking of our human mind . After all humor blog is here for you to entertain and make you laugh...

I am an Idiot. A funny and quite humorous geek fun picture . Specially geeks gonna love this picture ..