Its All Humor

Al Bundy's quotes/quotations about women and sex, some of em are very funny and hilarious. Some are really hard ones, ladies please don't mind... Its just for humor. Women, you can not live WITH them ... End. Bed them, but do not wed them. Six dollars is too much dough, to waste on a woman. Only widowers have angels as women. Sex gets better every time ... as long as it is not always with the same woman. That's no lady. That's my wife! Wife standing near, soon comes a tear. Women, what are they good for? 2 C's: cooking and kitchen. The women need us as much as we need them. And why? We can get it to them. Her mother and she can not imagine a battery. As long as I do not pay for it, to me nothing is too good for my wife. Women have it like to be staring at her like a piece of beef. I HAVE to sleep after sex does not sleep ... I WILL! I long for the darkness. Ah! The home shopping channel! Man! That's a good idea for women. It was alway...

I guess you will love to lol on Jokes about men and women listed below ... kindly enjoy the jokes.. Women are unpredictable. Before marriage, she expects a man, after marriage she suspects him, and after death she respects him. There was this guy who told his woman that he loved her so much that he would go thru hell for her. They got married - and now he is going thru hell.   A man inserted an 'ad' in the classifieds : "Wife wanted ". Next day, he received a hundred letters. They all said the same thing : "You can have mine."   When a man opens the door of his car for his wife, you can be sure of one thing: either the car is new or the wife.   It's easy to tell if a man is married or not. Just watch him drive a car with a woman sitting beside him. If both his hands are on the wheel, you can be sure he is married.   A man received a letter from some kidnappers. The letter said, "If you don't promise to send us $100,000 ...

A woman awakes in the middle of the night to find her husband was not in bed. She goes downstairs to look for him. She finds him sitting at the kitchen table with a cup of coffee in his hand. The husband appears to be in deep thought, just staring at the wall. She watches as he wipes a tear from his eye and takes a sip of his coffee. "What's the matter, dear?" she whispers as she steps into the room. "Why are you down here at this time of night?" The husband looks up from his coffee, "Do you remember 20 years ago when we were dating, and you were only 18?" he asks solemnly. "Yes I do" she replies. The husband pauses; the words were not coming easily. "Do you remember when your father caught us in the garden?" "Yes, I remember" said the wife, lowering herself into a chair beside him. The husband continued.. "Do you remember when he showed the shotgun in my face and said, 'Either you marry my daughte...

These  collection of short funny jokes will definitely entertain you and make use of your time to laugh out loud.. Two workers take their lunch break, the first fact: - You know Victor Hugo? - Not - You're wrong, you should follow the course of the evening! The next day, always the same: - Do you know Albert Einstein? - No - You're wrong, you should follow the course of the evening! Two days later, here we go again: - You know Karl Marx? - No. - You're wrong, you should follow the course of the evening! So while the other is upset: And you, you know John Smith? - No?? - You're wrong, it is the one who kisses your wife while you have evening classes! Yet another short Funny jokes "Two mites are found in one pull, one said: - Where are you going on holiday this year? - At the edge of the sleeve. " This is the story of two tourists, one French and one Italian, crossing the Sahara desert with a camel and camel driver. After several day...

Relax and enjoy funny marriage jokes and lol The husband returns home one day and tells his wife, "Hi Honey, look, I've bought the new Rolling Stones CD." "Why did you do that?, We don't even have a CD player!" replied the wife .. And husband says "So what ... have i ever asked why you keep on buying bras?" ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------ If your dog is barking at the back door and your wife is yelling at the front door, who do you let in first? - The dog, He'll shut up once you let him in. ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------ A guy is down on his luck. He takes his last $500 and goes to Las Vegas. Overnight, he has a fantastic run of luck. He stumbles out of the casino and finds a pay phone. He calls his wife and says, "Honey, pack your bags, I just won over a million dollars in Vegas." ...

Meaning of sharing in marriage ... The old man placed an order for one plain hamburger, French fries and a drink. He unwrapped the plain hamburger and carefully cut it in half, placing one half in front of his wife. He then carefully counted out the French fries, dividing them into two piles and neatly placed one pile in front of his wife. He took a sip of the drink, his wife took a sip and then set the cup down between them . As he began to eat his few bites of hamburger, the people around them were looking over and whispering. Obviously they were thinking, 'That poor old couple - all they can afford is one meal for the two of them.' As the man began to eat his fries a young man came to the table and politely offered to buy another meal for the old couple. The old man said, they were just fine - they were used to sharing everything in their marriage . People closer to the table noticed the little old lady hadn't eaten a bite. She sat there watching he...