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Al Bundy Quotations Women and Sex

Al Bundy's quotes/quotations about women and sex, some of em are very funny and hilarious. Some are really hard ones, ladies please don't mind... Its just for humor.


Women, you can not live WITH them ... End.

Bed them, but do not wed them.

Six dollars is too much dough, to waste on a woman.

Only widowers have angels as women.

Sex gets better every time ... as long as it is not always with the same woman.

That's no lady. That's my wife!

Wife standing near, soon comes a tear.

Women, what are they good for? 2 C's: cooking and kitchen.

The women need us as much as we need them. And why? We can get it to them. Her mother and she can not imagine a battery.

As long as I do not pay for it, to me nothing is too good for my wife.

Women have it like to be staring at her like a piece of beef.

I HAVE to sleep after sex does not sleep ... I WILL! I long for the darkness.

Ah! The home shopping channel! Man! That's a good idea for women. It was always hard to go with a sofa strapped to my ass in the department stores.

If there was no beer, there were at least three people who were not married: me, Jefferson, and possibly Lisa-Marie Presley.

There is only one kind of kiss. The man stands with eyes closed before the woman and imagines it would be different.

I feel like a shipping company whose tanker has caused an environmental disaster: An unwanted effusion and I paid for it 'till the end of my life.

We all have to live with our disappointments ... I have to sleep with mine.

Coffee after sex? How will that work? How can you drink in a deep sleep?

If you want to have sex, the children must go out. If you want to have great sex, you have to go out!

If I only one of the children from marrying forbid, I have done my duty as a father.

It's okay to drive a gas-guzzlers, if you can tear it bitches.

I guess it's true what they say: You are what you marry.

I have lived, I have loved ... and later I even got married!

Christmas is not a time to repent. For this wedding days are there.

Many a time I look at my wife sitting there much like you and I think 'Go home.' Then the horror hits me. She is home. Now I'm depressed, Steve.

My driver's license has expired? Why can not run even a marriage certificate?

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