A good friend would bail you out of jail, but your best friend would be the one sitting next to you saying, "damn that was awesome".
I feel sleepy 24x7!....what to do???
"Most people say U have changed but no 1 dares to look into you eyes and say u have compromised a lot"
Accidentally wore a red shirt and khaki pants to target today, and long story short, i think i have been promoted to assistant manager.
The internet is perfect because it satisfies my desire to be alone while still getting attention from people.
Best error message of the century
An error shown by a computer:
"No keyboard found.
...Press any key to continue...."
I drink once in a blue moon but the problem is why that blue moon comes so frequently.... lol
In the good old days, girls used to cook like their mothers, NOW THEY DRINK LIKE THEIR FATHERS...
Some people are so useless like "AY" in the word "OKAY"!!!!!!!!
I love the beach........ except the water and sand but i love the rest :)
My girlfriend is getting so tired of my Linkin Park references. But in the end it doesn't matter.
A wise person once told me taht if a guy wants to be with a girl, he will make it happen, no matter what.
We really shouldn't eat or wear animals, they are our friends. How would you like it if i ate you ?
Mom: Why is there a spoon in your room ? That should be in the kitchen.
Mew: Hehe, like women.
What the heck is planking ? Its the parkour of people who can't move fast.
The most beautiful things on earth can't be seen, they can only be felt with the heard..
Hearts don't feel boobies .....
Everyone's a genius, But if you judge a fish on its ability to climb a tree, it will live its whole life believing it is stupid."
Women always worry about the things that men forget; men always worry about the things women remember
Love doesn't require two people look at each other, but that they look together in the same direction.
“Who gets the hottest place in hell, the Priest who would take away the innocence of a child or the lawyer that would defend him?”
If I were a computer I'd shut down and reboot my life.
"A person should not be too honest. Straight trees are cut first and honest people are screwed first."