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Showing posts from March, 2009

Recession Updates

1. AliBaba and the forty thieves are now AliBaba and the thirty thieves. Ten were laid off 2. Batman and Robin are now Batman and Pedro. Batman fired Robin and hired Pedro because Pedro was willing to work twice the hours at the same rate 3. Iron man now "air-pooling" with Superman to save fuel costs. 4. Women finally marrying for love, and not money 5. Q: With the current market turmoil, what's the easiest way to make a small fortune? A: Start off with a large one. 6. The credit crunch is getting bad isn't it? I mean, I let my brother borrow $10 a couple of weeks back, it turns out I'm now America’s third biggest lender. 7. Q: Why have Dubai real estate agents stopped looking out of the window in the morning? A: Because otherwise they'd have nothing to do in the afternoon. 8. Q: What's the difference between an American and a Zimbabwean? A: In a few weeks, nothing. 9. Dow Jones is re-branded as "Down Jones". 10. Quote from a Wall Street banker:

Unusual Creative Bikes

Unusual and creative Bikes . Yes, this can be done.

Trust Mom

Ben invited his mother over for dinner. During the meal, his mother couldn't help noticing how beautiful Ben's roommate was. She had long been suspicious of a relationship between Ben and his roommate and this only made her more curious. Over the course of the evening, while watching the two interact, she started to wonder if there was more between Ben and the roommate than met the eye. Reading his mom's thoughts, Ben volunteered, "I know what you must be thinking, but I assure you, Allison and I are just roommates." About a week later, Allison came to Ben and said, "Ever since your mother came to dinner, I've been unable to find the beautiful silver gravy ladle. "You don't suppose she took it, do you?" Ben said, "Well, I doubt it, but I'll write her a letter just to be sure." So he sat down and wrote: "Dear Mother, I'm not saying you 'did' take a gravy ladle from my house, and I'm not saying you 'did n

MSN Virus Flowchart 2009

Revised Version Of MSN Virus Flowchart 2009

Funny Creative Food arts

Skeleton Food Art Lilliput Food Art Grasshopper Food Art Dinosaurs Food Art Ant Food Art Bikini Food Art Banana Food Art Halloween Food Art

Bush Government Vs. Obama Government

This is Bush Government This is Obama Government

Don't Drink Too Much Beer Now

Note: No Sexism Intended

Cute Babies

Two babies were sitting in their cribs, when one baby shouted to the other, 'Are you a little girl or a little boy?' 'I don't know,' replied the other baby giggling. 'What do you mean, you don't know?' said the first baby. 'I mean I don't know how to tell the difference,' was the reply. 'Well, I do,' said the first baby chuckling, 'I'll climb into your crib and find out.' He carefully maneuvered himself into the other baby's crib, then quickly disappeared beneath the blankets. After a couple of minutes, he resurfaced with a big grin on his face. 'You're a little girl, and I'm a little boy,' he said proudly. 'You're ever so clever,' cooed the baby girl, 'but how can you tell ?' 'It's quite easy really,' replied the baby boy, 'You've got pink socks and I've got blue ones.'

Two Best Insurance Jokes

Selling Of War Insurance Mr. Kennedy was assigned to the induction center where he was to advise new recruits about their government benefits, especially their GI insurance. It wasn't long before Captain Smith noticed that Kennedy had almost a 100% record for insurance sales, which had never happened before. Rather than ask about this, the Captain stood in the back of the room and listened to Kennedy's sales pitch. Kennedy explained the basics of the GI Insurance to the new recruits, and then said: "If you have GI Insurance and go into battle and are killed, the government has to pay $200,000 to your beneficiaries. If you don't have GI insurance, and you go into battle and get killed, the government has to pay only a maximum of $6000." "Now," he concluded," which bunch do you think they are going to send into battle first? Health Insurance A wealthy hospital benefactor was being shown around the hospital. During her tour she passed a room where a m

The latest Autobiographies

Late Princess Diana's Autobiograpy Marvin Gaye's Autobiograpy You can send me some more autobiographies to add on this post...

Post Accident Insurance Claims

Below are some actual accident insurance claim form statements - Car Accidents: "A pedestrian hit me and went under my car." "The other car collided with mine without giving warning of its intention." "I had been learning to drive with power steering. I turned the wheel to what I thought was enough and found myself in a different direction going the opposite way." "Coming home, I drove into the wrong house and collided with a tree I don't have." "I thought my window was down; but found it was up when I put my hand through it." "No one was to blame for the accident, but it never would have happened if the other driver had been alert." "The pedestrian had no idea which direction to go, so I ran over him." "I saw the slow-moving, sad-faced old gentleman as he bounced off the hood of my car." "I had been driving for 40 years when I fell asleep at the wheel and had an accident." "I was taking

Just Relax And Be Happy ...

Don't take life so seriously! Kiss A Lot Giggle A lot Sleep A Lot Scream At The Top Of Your Voice Take Rest A Lot Get Retail Therapy Dance A Lot Have Fun A Lot Take A Bubble Bath AND BE HAPPY ALWAYS...

Application For Becoming Girlfriend

Now, you can distribute application forms if you want girlfriend... Below is the application form...

Spaghetti And Italian Woman

For several years, a man was having an affair with an Italian woman. One night, she confided in him that she was pregnant. Not wanting to ruin his reputation or his marriage, He paid her a large sum of money if she would go to Italy to secretly have the child. If she stayed in Italy to raise the child, he would also provide child support until the child turned 18. She agreed, but asked how he would know when the baby was born. To keep it discrete, he told her to simply mail him a post card, and write 'Spaghetti' on the back. He would then arrange for the child support payments to begin. One day, about 8 months later, he came home to his confused wife. 'Honey,' she said, 'you received a very strange post card today.' 'Oh, just give it to me and I'll explain it later,' he said. The wife obeyed and watched as her husband read the card, turned white, and fainted. On the card was written: 'Spaghetti, Spaghetti, Spaghetti,’ ‘Two with meatballs, one wit

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