Its All Humor

There is a blonde on a plane to New York. She is sitting in the first class section, but her ticket says that she should be in the coach section. A flight attendant realizes the blonde's mistake and asks her politely to move. The blonde won't move. She says, "I'm blonde, I'm beautiful, and I'm going to New York." The flight attendant goes and tells all of the other flight attendants. They all try to persuade the blonde to move, but she won't move. She says again, "I'm blonde, I'm beautiful, and I'm going to New York." The flight attendants go and tell the pilot about the obnoxious blonde. They tell him the only thing that she says. He puts the plane on auto-pilot and whispers something in the blonde's ear. Immediately, she gets up and moves to her normal seat. Then the pilot goes back to fly the plane. The flight attendants are all very curious about how the pilot made the blonde move so quickly. They ask him and he says, ...

Can you sleep like this really ? The most dangerous sleep in the world One of the comfortable sleep you see Sleep which can get you fired from your work

I've decided to attempt to cure my boredom and ask everyone what the worst pun you've experienced is. Especially those groan-worthy ones. I'll start off with a few... Why did Captain Hook cross the road? To get to the second-hand store. Two atoms were minding their own business, when one of them stops and yells, "I think I've lost an electron!" to which the other replies, 'Are you positive?" A pirate walks into a bar. Bartender notices he has a belt buckle shaped like the steering wheel on a ship. The bartender asks about the wheel. The pirate replies... "Y'arrr....it's driving me nuts!" So, an E-flat, a G-flat, and a B-flat walk into a bar. And the bartender says, "I'm sorry, we don't serve minors." That struck a chord. Careful with those puns, you'll get in treble. But they're key to my humour. And very noteworthy. (Conversation between a waiter and a customer.) W: Hawaii, mister? You must be Hungary? C: Y...

1. Ask about pizza maintenance and repair. 2. Ask for extra homo-sapien 3. Ask for the guy who took your order last time. 4. Ask if the pizza is organically grown. 5. Ask them if you get a free date with one of the staff if you make an order over $30. 6. Ask if they have any idea what is at stake with this pizza. 7. Ask if they're familiar with the term "spanking a pizza." Make up a description to go with the term. Ask that this be done to your pizza. 8. Ask if you get to keep the pizza box. When they say yes, heave a sigh of relief. 9. Order a one-inch pizza. 10. Tell them to put the crust on top this time. 11. Ask what the order taker is wearing. 12. Ask them to not put a band-aid on it this time or you will sue. 13. Change your accent every three seconds. 14. Dance all around the word "pizza." Avoid saying it at all costs. If he says it, say, "Please don't mention that word." 15. Learn to properly pronounce the ingredients of a Twinkie. Ask that...

A bus stops and 2 men get on. They sit down and engage in an animated conversation. The lady sitting next to them ignores them at first, but her attention is galvanized when she hears one of them say the following: Emma come first. Den I come. Den two asses come together. I come once-a-more! Two asses, they come together again. I come again and pee twice. Then I come one lasta time.' The lady can't take this any more, 'You foul-mouthed sex obsessed pig,' she retorted indignantly. 'In this country, we don't speak aloud in public places about our sex lives.' 'Hey, coola down lady,' said the man. 'Who talking abouta sex? I'm a justa tellin' my frienda how to spell 'Mississippi'.' I bet you're gonna read this again!

The other day I went to the Patent Office trying to register some of my inventions. I went to the main desk to sign in and the lady at the desk had a form that had to be filled out. She wrote down my personal info and then asked me what I had invented. I said, "A folding bottle." She said, "Okay, what do you call it?" "A Fottle", I said. "What else do you have?" "A folding carton." "What do you call it?" "A Farton." She sniggered and said, "Those are silly names for products and one of them sounds kind of crude." I was so upset by her comment that I grabbed the form and left the office without even telling her about my folding bucket

Corporate Lesson 1: A priest offered a nun a lift. He got up and crossed her legs, forcing her habit as well as revealing a priest well-formed leg.The almost had an accident. After controlling the car, he stealthily slid his hand your thigh. The nun said, "Father, remember Psalm 129?" The priest removed his hand. But, changing gears, he slipped his hand up her thigh again. The nun once again said, "Father, remember Psalm 129!" The priest apologized. "Sorry sister but the flesh is weak." Upon arrival at the convent, the nun went on. On arrival at the church, the priest rushed to look for Psalm 129. He said: "Go out and look above, is the glory." Moral of the story: If you are knowledgeable in their work, you might miss a great opportunity. Corporate Lesson 2: A sales rep, an administration clerk and their manager are walking to lunch when they find an antique oil lamp. Rub it and a genie comes out. The genie says, "I usually grant three wishe...

An IPAD quiz on whether you should buy IPAD or not ? The picture below gives you all the details. AN IPAD FLOWCHART

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