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Showing posts from January, 2011

condom shop

condom shop with samples of colorful condoms for sale :)

American Vs. British

American Vs. British

Foreign English Interpreted

Foreign English Interpreted [1] IN A BANGKOK TEMPLE: IT IS FORBIDDEN TO ENTER A WOMAN, EVEN A FOREIGNER, IF DRESSED AS A MAN. [2] Cocktail Lounge, Norway: LADIES ARE REQUESTED NOT TO HAVE CHILDREN IN THE BAR. [3] Doctor's Office, Rome : SPECIALIST IN WOMEN AND OTHER DISEASES. [4] Dry Cleaners, Bangkok : DROP YOUR TROUSERS HERE FOR THE BEST RESULTS. [5] In a Nairobi Restaurant: CUSTOMERS WHO FIND OUR WAITRESSES RUDE, OUGHT TO SEE THE MANAGER. [6] On a Poster at Kencom: ARE YOU AN ADULT THAT CANNOT READ? IF SO WE CAN HELP. [7] In a City Restaurant: OPEN SEVEN DAYS A WEEK AND WEEKENDS. [8] In a Cemetery: PERSONS ARE PROHIBITED FROM PICKING FLOWERS, FROM ANY BUT THEIR OWN GRAVES. [9] Tokyo hotel's rules and regulations: GUESTS ARE REQUESTED NOT TO SMOKE, OR DO OTHER DISGUSTING BEHAVIOURS IN BED. [10] In a Tokyo Bar: SPECIAL COCKTAILS FOR THE LADIES WITH NUTS. [11] Hotel, Yugoslavia: THE FLATTENING OF UNDERWEAR WITH PLEASURE, IS THE JOB OF THE CHAMBERMAID. [12] Hotel, Japan: YOU ARE...

Innocence and kiss

Innocent as its best A small kid asked his pregnant mummy , what is in there ? Pregnant mummy : I have a very cute baby here.. Small kid: If it is so cute, why you ate it ? Try to kiss Girl: if you try to kiss me i will shout for help Boy: Nobody is near here ... Girl: I know, but i have to do my formality.. :)

Software Engineer and wife

Husband - hey dear, I am logged in. Wife - would you like to have some snacks? Husband - hard disk full. Wife - have you brought the saree. Husband - Bad command or file name. Wife - but I told you about it in morning Husband - erroneous syntax, abort, retry, cancel. Wife - hae bhagwan !forget it where's your salary. Husband - file in use, read only, try after some time. Wife - at least give me your credit card, I can do some shopping. Husband - sharing violation, access denied. Wife - I made a mistake in marrying you. Husband - data type mismatch. Wife - you are useless. Husband - by default. Wife - who was there with you in the car this morning? Husband - system unstable press ctrl, alt, del to Reboot. Wife - what is the relation between you & your Receptionist? Husband - the only user with write permission. Wife - what is my value in your life? Husband - unknown virus detected. Wife - do you love me or your computer? Husband - Too many parameters. Wife - I will go to my dad...

Google Translation Entertainment

Using the Google translator translate sentences. http://www.google.com/language_tools?hl=en Use whatever sentence you want! Next, translate it into Japanese. Then, take the translated sentence, and translate it into Russian. Lastly, translate this back into English, and see how your sentence has been altered! This is really fun! Here's the steps in a simpler format: 1. Translate sentence from English to Japanese. 2. Translate from Japanese to Russian 3. Translate from Russian to English 4. Post your results back here! So i will start sentence is I like candies. English to Japanese:私はお菓子が好きです。 Japanese to Russian:Я люблю конфеты. Russian to English:I like candies.

The Idiot wins

The Idiot wins Three men a philosopher, a mathematician and an idiot, were out riding in the car when it crashed into a tree. Before anyone knows it, the three men found themselves standing before the pearly gates of Heaven, where St. Peter and the Devil were standing nearby. "Gentlemen," the Devil started, "Due to the fact that Heaven is now overcrowded, therefore St. Peter has agreed to limit the number of people entering Heaven. If anyone of you can ask me a question which I don't know or cannot answer, then you're worthy enough to go to Heaven; if not, then you'll come with me to Hell." The philosopher then stepped up, "OK, give me the most comprehensive report on Socrates' teachings" With a snap of his finger, a stack of paper appeared next to the Devil. The philosopher read it and concluded it was correct. "Then, go to Hell!" With another snap of his finger, the philosopher disappeared. The mathematician then asked, "Gi...

Homeless Woman

Homeless Woman A woman was walking down the street when she was accosted by a particularly dirty and shabby-looking homeless woman who asked her for a couple of dollars for dinner. The woman took out her bill fold, extracted ten dollars and asked, "If I give you this money, will you buy some wine with it instead of dinner?" "No," I had to stop drinking years ago, the homeless woman replied. "Will you use it to go shopping instead of buying food?" the woman asked. "No," I don't waste time shopping, the homeless woman said. "I need to spend all my time trying to stay alive." "Will you spend this on a beauty salon instead of food?" the woman then asked. "Are you NUTS!" replied the homeless woman. "I haven't had my hair done in 20 years!" "Well," said the woman, "I'm not going to give you the money. Instead, I'm going to take you out for dinner with my husband and myself tonight. ...

Vasectomy: $400 Speechless look on her face: priceless

I'll try to sum up a funny story that happened a few years ago: I got a vasectomy. I met a girl soon afterwards. She was nice and attractive but with a selfish streak that raised a big red flag. She was 32 at the time and I could practically HEAR her biological clock ticking. Regardless, she was a good lay, easy on the eyes, and reasonably good company. I did NOT tell her about my vasectomy and I always used a condom with her to protect against STDs. She assumed, obviously, that the condom was only used for birth control. Silly girl. We date for a few months. I never made any move towards commitment but she brought it up ocassionally. For me, this was a casual but pleasant relationship. For her - as I was to find out - it was part of life-changing series of events that she was planning very carefully. Four months into dating, I get the "I'm pregnant" talk. She's going on and on about how the condom must have broke and now we really need to think about getting marr...

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