Its All Humor

Complexities of women are so complex that we can assume Girls are complex creatures on planet earth.. If you kiss her, you are not a gentleman If you don't, you are not a man If you praise her, she thinks you are lying If you don't, you are good for nothing If you agree to all her likes, you are a wimp If you don't, you are not understanding If you visit her often, she thinks it is boring If you don't, she accuses you of double-crossing If you are well dressed, she says you are a playboy If you don't, you are a dull boy If you are jealous, she says it's bad If you don't, she thinks you do not love her If you attempt a romance, she says you didn't respect her If you don't, she thinks you do not like her If you are a minute late, she complains it's hard towait If she is late, she says that's a girl's way If you visit another man! , you're not putting in "quality time" If she is visited by another woman, ...

It goes without saying that you should never mess with a hacker . Stealing a computer hacker 's computer would be like stealing her children . Want to know what happens when a hacker gets his computer stolen? Watch this entertaining story , which was transmitted at the DEF CON . Go directly to 3:15 , and the video jump to the beginning of the story .

Five surgeons from major cities discuss, who makes the best patients to operate. The first surgeon, from Manchester , said: " I ​​like to see accountants on my operating table, because when you open them , everything inside is numbered "   The second surgeon, from Birmingham, said, " Yeah, but you should try electricians ! Everything inside them is color coded . "   The third surgeon, from Edinburgh , said: " No, I really think librarians are the best, everything inside them is in alphabetical order .   The fourth surgeon , from Belfast, chimes in: " You know , I like construction workers ... those guys always understand when you have a few extra parts. "   But the fifth surgeon , from London , close all when he observed : "You are all wrong. Politicians are the easiest to operate . No guts , no heart, no balls , no brains and no spine and head and a s s are interchange...

1. Well, how 'bout that?...I'm lost! Looks like we'll have to stop and ask for directions. 2. You know Pumpkin, now that you're thirteen, you'll be ready for unchaperoned car dates. Won't that be fun? 3. Here's a credit card and the keys to my new car-GO CRAZY. 4. What do you mean you wanna play football? Figure skating not good enough for you, son? 5. Your mother and I are going away for the weekend...you might want to consider throwing a party. 6. Well, I don't know what's wrong with your car. Probably one of those doo-hickey thingies-you know-that makes it run or something. Just have it towed to a mechanic and pay whatever he asks. 7. No son of mine is going to live under this roof without an earring now quit your belly-aching, and let's go to the mall.  8. What ya wanna go and get a job for? I make plenty of money for you to spend. 9. Father's Day? Aaahh-don't worry about that-it's no big deal.

An English lady visited Switzerland and had difficulty finding a room, so I asked the local teacher to help her. After a quarter had been found satisfactory, she returned home and some packing.  Suddenly, it occurred to him that he had not noticed a WC (in England, the bathroom is called Water Closet), so the teacher wrote on the toilet The teacher, without knowing the meaning, asked the parish priest and together they decided it must mean "Wayside Chapel". He wrote the following letter: Dear Madam,  It is a pleasure to inform you that there is a WC just 9 miles from his home in the middle of a pine forest. It can accommodate 220 people and is open on Thursdays and Sundays. This is an unfortunate situation if you are in the habit of going regularly. You will undoubtedly be glad to know that some people bring their lunch and make a day of it. I recommend especially on Thursdays, because then there is an organ accompaniment. The acoustics of W.C. are excellent, even ...

A widowed Jewish lady, still in good shape, was sunbathing on a most deserted beach at Boca Raton Florida She look up and noticed that a man her age, also in good shape, had walked up, placed his blanket on the sand near hers and began reading a book. Smiling, she attempted to strike up a conversation with him. "How are you today?" "Fine, thank you," he responded, and turned back to his book. "I love the beach. Do you come here often?" she asked. "First time since my wife passed away 2 years ago," he replied and turned back to his book. "I'm sorry to hear that. My husband passed away three years ago and it is very lonely, she countered. "Do you live around here?" She asked. "Yes, I live over in Cape Coral ," he answered , and again he resumed reading. Trying to find a topic of common interest, she persisted," Do you like pussy cats?" With that, the man dropped his book, came over to he...

Ninja Defuse on Derail Ninja Defuse on Estate Ninja Defuse on Sub Base Go and try and get one of these for each map and make a montage

Meaning of sharing in marriage ... The old man placed an order for one plain hamburger, French fries and a drink. He unwrapped the plain hamburger and carefully cut it in half, placing one half in front of his wife. He then carefully counted out the French fries, dividing them into two piles and neatly placed one pile in front of his wife. He took a sip of the drink, his wife took a sip and then set the cup down between them . As he began to eat his few bites of hamburger, the people around them were looking over and whispering. Obviously they were thinking, 'That poor old couple - all they can afford is one meal for the two of them.' As the man began to eat his fries a young man came to the table and politely offered to buy another meal for the old couple. The old man said, they were just fine - they were used to sharing everything in their marriage . People closer to the table noticed the little old lady hadn't eaten a bite. She sat there watching he...

Pictures of Super Stupidity are quite funny and looks really stupid those who performed these acts... Add caption

A guy goes for a Government job interview . The interviewer asks him, "Are you a veteran?" The guy says, "Why yes, in fact, I served two years in Vietnam." "Good," says the interviewer, "That counts in your favor. Do you have any service-related disabilities?" The guy says, "In fact I am 100% disabled. During a battle, an explosion removed my private parts so they declared me disabled, it doesn't affect my ability to work, though." "Sorry to hear about the damage, but I have some good news for you, I can hire you right now ! Our working hours are 8 to 4. Come on in about 10, and we'll get you started." The guy says, "If working hours are from 8 to 4, why do you want me to come at 10?" "Well, here at the government job , we don't do anything but sit around and scratch our ba l l s for the first two hours. No point of your coming in for that !"

 Two guys are stuck in ocean, and the one(Virgin guy) looks around and sees two islands, the closer island, is inhabited by fat women, but have plenty of food and water, the second island, about 20 times the distance of the first, is full of beautiful virgin women, all of whom have never seen a man, surrounding the second island, are great white sharks , who are waiting for something to eat. A virgin guy says, the hell with it, i am going to the beautiful women island, and I'm gonna live happily every after...sadly, he is consumed by the sharks . A non-virgin guy goes to the fat women island, uses the fat women as rafts, and arrives safely to the island full of beautiful women, and fornicates like its goin out of style...... This is a major  difference between virgins and non virgin s...

1. A nursery school pupil told his teacher he'd found a cat, but it was dead.  'How do you know that the cat was dead?' she asked her pupil.  'Because I pissed in its ear and it didn't move,' answered the child innocently.  'You did WHAT?' the teacher exclaimed in surprise.  'You know,' explained the boy, 'I leaned over and went 'Pssst' and it didn't move'  2. A small boy is sent to bed by his father.  Five minutes later.....'Da-ad....'  'What?'  'I'm thirsty. Can you bring a drink of water?'  'No, You had your chance. Lights out.'  Five minutes later: 'Da-aaaad.....'  'WHAT?'  'I'm THIRSTY. Can I have a drink of water??'  ' I told you NO! If you ask again, I'll have to smack you!!'  Five minutes later......'Daaaa-aaaad......'  'WHAT!'  'When you come in to smack me, can you bring a drink of water?'  3. An...