Its All Humor

Ha ha ha ha No one teach you this, its an ART.

Two married friends are out drinking one night, when one turns to the other and says, "You know, I don't know what else to do. Whenever I go home after we've been out drinking, I turn the headlights off before I get to the driveway. I shut off the engine and coast into the garage. Take my shoes off before I go into the house, I sneak up the stairs, get undressed in the bathroom, stick my foot in the toilet and pee down my leg to prevent splashing sounds. I ease into bed and my wife STILL Wakes Up, and Yells at me for staying out so late! "His friend looks at him and says "Well, you're obviously taking the wrong approach. I screech into the driveway, slam the door, storm up the steps, pee hard into the toilet water, then use the full flush, throw my shoes in the closet, undress in the bedroom, then jump into bed, slap her on the *** and say!, WHO'S HORNY????!!!" And she acts like she's sound asleep! Works Every Time!!!

Recent talks on SOPA and humor on it.. While the Biebs is in jail, I have a chance to win Selena Gomez's heart...       Then you might think .. Well he wouldn't, because they wouldn't sue him. Different rules for different people

Funny Awesome Answers In IAS (Indian Administrative Services) Examination Q. How can you drop a raw egg onto a concre...te floor without cracking it? A. Concrete floors are very hard to crack! (UPSC Topper) Q. If it took eight men ten hours to build a wall, how long would it take four men to build it? A. No time at all it is already built. (UPSC 23rd Rank Opted for IFS) Q. If you had three apples and four oranges in one hand and four apples and three oranges in the other hand, what would you have? A. Very large hands. (Good one) (UPSC 11 Rank Opted for IPS) Q. How can you lift an elephant with one hand? A. you will never find an elephant with one hand. (UPSC Rank 14 Opted for IES) Q. How can a man go eight days without sleep? A. No Probs, He sleeps at night. (UPSC IAS Rank 98) Q. If you throw a red stone into the blue sea what it will become? A. It will Wet or Sink as simple as that. (UPSC IAS Rank 2) Q. What looks like half apple ? A: The other half. (UPSC -...

I am sick and tired of hearing about how dumb Rednecks are. I challenge any so-called smart, worldly wise people to take this exam: 1. Calculate the smallest limb diameter on a persimmon tree that will support a 10 pound possum. 2. Which of these cars will rust out the quickest when placed on blocks in your front yard? (A) '65 Ford Fairlane (B) '69 Chevrolet Chevelle, or (C) '64 Pontiac GTO. 3. If your uncle builds a still which operates at a capacity of 20 gallons of shine produced per hour, how many car radiators are required to condense the product? 4. A woodcutter has a chainsaw which operates at 2700 RPM. The density of the pine trees in the plot to be harvested is 470 per acre. The plot is 2.3 acres in size. The average tree diameter is 14 inches. How many Budweisers will be drunk before the trees are cut down? 5. If every old refrigerator in the state of Oklahoma vented a charge of R-12 simultaneously, what would be the percentage decrease in the ozone lay...

I guess you will love to lol on Jokes about men and women listed below ... kindly enjoy the jokes.. Women are unpredictable. Before marriage, she expects a man, after marriage she suspects him, and after death she respects him. There was this guy who told his woman that he loved her so much that he would go thru hell for her. They got married - and now he is going thru hell.   A man inserted an 'ad' in the classifieds : "Wife wanted ". Next day, he received a hundred letters. They all said the same thing : "You can have mine."   When a man opens the door of his car for his wife, you can be sure of one thing: either the car is new or the wife.   It's easy to tell if a man is married or not. Just watch him drive a car with a woman sitting beside him. If both his hands are on the wheel, you can be sure he is married.   A man received a letter from some kidnappers. The letter said, "If you don't promise to send us $100,000 ...

Enjoy the funny magic tricks for kids

How often the best sex?  This is probably a lot of people have had questions in mind. The U.S. scholars under the influence of age on sexuality law, summed up a 'sex frequency formula' - the age of first sexual frequency = number * 9. that is their own age, multiplied by ten digit 9, the product of ten digits from a sexual cycle is the last number of days, and was due a bit of sexual frequency. According to the U.S. Women's Health magazine, this formula applies to adults over the age of 20, such as a 25-year-old man, his (her) sex formula for 2 * 9 = 18,18 and 8 of 10 combination, that is for him (her) sex frequency of eight times within 10 days of life, over a frequency on which too frequently, may cause discomfort. The sex chart is below, Take a look at the chart and see if it matches with you ?  ...  ;)  

A pet cat that went missing in Colorado five years ago was found wandering in Manhattan, and will soon be sent on a plane to reunite with its former owners, an animal pound spokesman said on Wednesday. Workers at the pet shelter traced Willow the cat back to a family in Colorado, thanks to a microchip embedded in the animal's neck that they checked with a scanner, said Richard Gentles, spokesman for Animal Care & Control of New York City. A concerned citizen found the brown, black and white cat recently prowling the streets on the East Side of Manhattan, and the animal was taken to the shelter. Animal care workers do not know who was taking care of the cat, but Gentles said one thing is certain - the pet did not travel half-way across the country on its own. "The cat was in very good condition, clean, a little chunky," Gentles said. "So obviously someone was taking care of her." Willow belongs to a Colorado family called the Squires, and the animal apparent...

I was walking past the mental hospital the other day, and all the patients were shouting, "13....13....13...13." The fence was too high to see over, but i saw a little gap in the planks, so i looked through to see what was going on. Some stupid idiot poked me in my eye with a sick. Then they all started shouting, "14...14....14...14." After this i learned a  lesson to mind my own business and not to sneak around...

A scientific love letter for my love at first sight Longitude-250 22' East Latitude-80 10'' North Date 31/12/2011 My dear sweet heart,                               Darling, i love your vztime kwhere 'v'' is some positive integer and 'z' approaches the  infinity. Darling the first time we met, you were standing 21feet above me on the balcony. I don't want to vibrate my heart's feeling to you but i can't control my ruthless mind.Lastly,  i decide to prove the wave motion of my heart. Honey, the next time we meet we both were standing vertically on a horizontal airplane. You smile as 0.98765 you may calculate the velocity of your smile, where at the time over looking any air resistance.                              You looked at me at an angle of depression 39059' and the sparkling magic rays of your eyes inci...

Some most difficult things to do in the World.... 1. You can't count ur hair.  2. You can't wash ur eyes with soap.  3. You can't breathe when your tongue is out ... .... ... .... ... .... ...... ....... ...... ....... ........ ......... ..........  .............. ................ ................... Now, please put your tongue back inside as other people may be watching you with your tongue out ... ;) Ever wonder what does women do when they go to withdraw cash from ATM