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Showing posts from April, 2012

Texting Codes For Senior Citizens

Texting codes for senior citizens is bit different than what we teens have been using texting codes like LOL, OMG, TTYL , etc. Not to be outdone by these little SNK (snotty nosed kids)   Finally senior citizens can  have their own texting codes!  Glad you senior citizens will use these texting codes extensively .... Texting Codes for Senior Citizens as follows: ATD - At the Doctor's BFF - Best Friend's Funeral BTW - Bring the Wheelchair BYOT - Bring Your Own Teeth  [this one is very hilarious] CBM - Covered by Medicare CUATSC - See You at the Senior Center DWI - Driving While Incontinent FWBB - Friend with Beta Blockers FWIW - Forgot Where I Was FYI - Found Your Insulin GGPBL - Gotta Go, Pacemaker Battery Low GHA - Got Heartburn Again IMHO - Is My Hearing-Aid On? LMDO - Laughing My Dentures Out LOL - Living on Lipitor LWO - Lawrence Welk's On OMMR - On My Massage Recliner ROFL..CGU - Rolling on the Floor Laughing...Can't get Up!

Busty Girl Problems

The following pictures illustrates the problem of girls who have busty b-r-e-a-s-t-s. I guess the first girl you could think of is "Pamela Anderson" when we say " Busty Girl " The problem of built-in bra The problem of motorboat proposition The problem of Ruffles The problem of Spillage The problem of Staircase The problem of Suspenders The problem of Dish washing The problem of seat belt The problem of Shoulder Straps The problem of Surprise stain The problem of Airplane turbulence   The problem of Counter Dilemma  

Pain of Man Vs Women

Pain of Man Vs Women illustrated below

Moments of Senior Citizens

A Couple in their nineties are both having problems remembering things. During a checkup, the doctor tells them that they're physically okay, but they might want to start writing things down to help them remember .. Later that night, while watching TV, the old man gets up from his chair. 'Want anything while I'm in the kitchen?' he asks. 'Will you get me a bowl of ice cream?' 'Sure..' 'Don't you think you should write it down so you can remember it?' she asks. 'No, I can remember it.' 'Well, I'd like some strawberries on top, too. Maybe you should write it down, so as not to forget it?' He says, 'I can remember that. You want a bowl of ice cream with strawberries.' 'I'd also like whipped cream. I'm certain you'll forget that, write it down?' she asks. Irritated, he says, 'I don't need to write it down, I can remember it! Ice cream with strawberries and whipped cream - I got it, for good

Short Funny Attorney Jokes

Defense Attorney: What is your age? Little Old Woman: I am 86 years old. Defense Attorney: Will you tell us, in your own words, what happened to you? Little Old Woman: There I was, sitting there in my swing on my front porch on a warm spring evening, when a young man comes creeping up on the porch and sat down beside me. Defense Attorney: Did you know him? Little Old Woman: No, but he sure was friendly. Defense Attorney: What happened after he sat down beside you? Little Old Woman: He started to rub my thigh. Defense Attorney: Did you stop him? Little Old Woman: No, I didn't stop him. Defense Attorney: Why not? Little Old Woman: It felt good. Nobody had done that since my Abner passed away some 30 years ago. Defense Attorney: What happened next? Little Old Woman: He began to rub my br easts. Defense Attorney: Did you stop him then? Little Old Woman: No, I did not stop him. Defense Attorney: Why not? Little Old Woman: Why, Your Honor, his rubbing made me feel a

In the school

A first-grade teacher, Ms. Walker, was having trouble with one of her students. The teacher asked, 'Johnson, what's your problem?' Johnson answered, 'I'm too smart for the 1st grade. My sister is in the 3rd grade and I'm smarter than she is! I think I should?be in the 3rd grade too!' Ms. Walker had had enough. She took Johnson to the principal's office. While Johnson waited in the outer office, the teacher explained to the principal what the situation was. The principal told Ms. Walker he would give the boy a test. If he failed to answer any of his questions he was to go back to the 1st grade and behave. She agreed. Johnson was brought in and the conditions were explained to him and he agreed to take the test. Principal: 'What is 3 x 3?' Johnson: '9.' Principal: 'What is 6 x 6?' Johnson: '36.' And so it went with every question the principal thought a 3rd grader should know. The principal looks at Ms. Walker and tells her

April Fools Joke or Prank

My mother lives 10 minutes from me and i drove to her house well she was at work went in and cut the power to her house by simply turning off the breakers.. Mom got home from work and instead of checking the breaker box she calls penalec.. 3 hours later they show up test her lines and everything saying power is coming into the house and the guy checks the breaker box.. he said ma'am your breakers were all turned off.. So he simply flipped them back on and gave my mother a slip of paper.. This paper stated "40 dollar truck charge." I call my mom and found out what happened and I told her April Fools .. She tells me about the slip of paper with the ammount need to pay for it.. I felt bad went over and gave her the 40 dollars and she takes it and looks at me and says april fools and slams the door in my face! :) I told my mate that I was going to be a daddy (I'm 17) and she believed me till i said ' APRIL FOOLS' like 4hrz later. wbu wbb?

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