Its All Humor

EVER SINCE I WAS A CHILD, I'VE ALWAYS HAD A FEAR OF SOMEONE UNDER MY BED AT NIGHT. SO I WENT TO A SHRINK AND TOLD HIM: I've got problems. Every time I go to bed I think there's somebody under It. I'm scared. I think I'm going crazy. Just put yourself in my hands for one year, said the shrink. Come talk to Me three times a week and we should be able to get rid of those fears. How much do you charge? Eighty dollars per visit, replied the doctor. I'll sleep on it, I said. Six months later the doctor met me on the street. Why didn't you come to See me about those fears you were having? He asked. Well, Eighty bucks a visit, three times a week for a year, is $12,480.00. A bartender cured me for $10.00. I was so happy to have saved all That money that I went and bought me a new pickup truck. Is that so? With a bit of an attitude he said, and how, may I ask, did a Bartender cure you? He told me to cut the legs off the bed. Ain't nobody u...

Three Best Ways to Fail Drunk Driving Test , don't try this at home ;)

A lawyer married a woman who had previously divorced ten husbands. On their wedding night, she told her new husband, "Please be gentle, I'm still a virgin." "What?" said the puzzled groom. "How can that be if you've been married ten times?" "Well, Husband #1 was a sales representative: he kept telling me how great it was going to be. Husband #2 was in software services: he was never really sure how it was supposed to function, but he said he'd look into it and get back to me. Husband #3 was from field services: he said everything checked out diagnostically but he just couldn't get the system up. Husband #4 was in telemarketing: even though he knew he had the order, he didn't know when he would be able to deliver. Husband #5 was an engineer: he understood the basic process but wanted three years to research, implement, and design a new state-of-the-art method. Husband #6 was from finance and administration: he tho...