Sunday, April 25, 2010

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The worst puns of all time

I've decided to attempt to cure my boredom and ask everyone what the worst pun you've experienced is. Especially those groan-worthy ones.

I'll start off with a few...

Why did Captain Hook cross the road?

To get to the second-hand store.

Two atoms were minding their own business, when one of them stops and yells, "I think I've lost an electron!" to which the other replies, 'Are you positive?"

A pirate walks into a bar. Bartender notices he has a belt buckle shaped like the steering wheel on a ship. The bartender asks about the wheel. The pirate replies...
"Y''s driving me nuts!"

So, an E-flat, a G-flat, and a B-flat walk into a bar.
And the bartender says,
"I'm sorry, we don't serve minors."
That struck a chord.
Careful with those puns, you'll get in treble.
But they're key to my humour.
And very noteworthy.

(Conversation between a waiter and a customer.)
W: Hawaii, mister? You must be Hungary?
C: Yes, Siam. And I can't Rumania long either. Venice lunch ready?
W: I'll Russia table. What'll you Havre? Aix?
C: Whatever's ready. But can't Jamaica cook step on the gas?
W: Odessa laugh. But Alaska.
C: Don't do me favours. Just put a Cuba sugar in my Java.
W: Don't you be Sicily, big boy. Sweden it yourself. I'm only here to Serbia.
C: Denmark my check and call the Bosphorus. I hope he'll Kenya. I don't Bolivia know who I am!
W: Canada noise! I don't Carribean. You sure Ararat!
C: Samoa your wisecracks? What's got India? D'you think this arguing Alps business? Be Nice! Matter of fact, I gotta Smolensk for ya!
W: Attu! Don't Kiev me that Boulogne! Alamein do! Spain in the neck. Pay your check and scram, Abyssinia!

1 Comment:

Eric Indiana said...

OK, those are acceptably bad. Here are my latest puns & violence to the language: