Its All Humor

1. Regular naps prevent old age, especially if you take them while driving. (My personal favorite funny quotes ) 2. Having one child makes you a parent; having two you are a referee. 3. Marriage is a relationship in which one person is always right and the other is the husband! 4. I believe we should all pay our tax with a smile. I tried - but they wanted cash. 5. Don't feel bad. A lot of people have no talent. 6. Don't marry the person you want to live with, marry the one you cannot live without, but whatever you do, you'll regret it later. 7. You can't buy love, but you pay heavily for it. 8. Bad officials are elected by good citizens who do not vote. 9. Laziness is nothing more than the habit of resting before you get tired. 10. Marriage is give and take. You'd better give it to her or she will take it anyway. 11. My wife and I always compromise. I admit I'm wrong and she agrees with me. 12. Those who can't laugh at themselves

1. It's an incentive to show up. 2. It reduces stress. 3. It leads to more honest communications. 4. It reduces complaints about low pay. 5. It cuts down on time off because you can work with a hangover. 6. Employees tell management what they think, not what management wants to hear. 7. It helps save on heating costs in the winter. 8. It encourages carpooling. 9. Increases job satisfaction because if you have a bad job you don't care. 10. It eliminates vacations because people would rather come to work. 11. It makes fellow employees look better. 12. It makes the cafeteria food taste better. 13. Bosses are more likely to hand out raises when they are wasted. 14. Salary negotiations are a lot more profitable. 15. If something does something stupid on the job, it will be quickly forgotten.

Argentina Vs Brazil World Cup 2010 - Must see I wish to see Argentina Vs Brazil in World Cup 2010 final ... and i have imagined the match will be like in the picture below...

1. I asked God for a bike, but I know God doesn't work that way. So I stole a bike and asked for forgiveness. 2. Do not argue with an idiot. He will drag you down to his level and beat you with experience. 3. sex is not the answer. sex is the question. "Yes" is the answer. 4. Women might be able to fake orgasms. But men can fake a whole relationship. 5. We live in a society where pizza gets to your house before the police. 6. Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak. 7. Going to church doesn't make you a Christian any more than standing in a garage makes you a car. 8. War does not determine who is right - only who is left. 9. Politicians and diapers have one thing in common. They should both be changed regularly, and for the same reason. 10. Children: You spend the first 2 years of their life teaching them to walk and talk. Then you spend the next 16 years telling them to sit down and shut-up. 11. His mother neve

Four guys have been going to the same deer camp for many years. Two days before the group is to leave on their annual hunt, Frank's wife puts her foot down and tells him he isn't going. Frank's friends are very upset that he can't go, but what can they do. Two days later the three get to the camping site only to find Frank sitting there with a tent set up, firewood gathered, and dinner cooking on the fire. "Damn man, how long you been here, and how did you talk your wife into letting you go?" "Well, I've been here since yesterday. Yesterday evening, I was sitting in my chair and my wife came up behind me and put her hands over my eyes and said, 'Guess whoooo?'" I pulled her hands off, turned around and looked. She was wearing a brand new see through nightie. She took my hand and pulled me to our bedroom. The room had candles and rose pedals all over. On the bed she had handcuffs, and ropes! She told me to tie her up and cuff her to the be

Try this out, and experience natural hallucination. Stare at the center, keep your eyes still & look away when instructed. Don't worry, this isn't one of those lame "something pops up & scares you" videos. Best viewed in full screen! Maybe epileptics shouldnt watch it, I won't be responsible for anything.. :) Have fun and share your 'results'

A collection of top 5 funny and bizarre goals of all time. Enjoy the World Cup 2010 and the funny goals in the video...

2010 FIFA World Cup FINAL PLUS Total Solar Eclipse South Africa - Total Solar Eclipse - 11 July 2010 - 20:00-22:00max (South Africa) South Africa - 2010 FIFA World Cup - Final - 11 July 2010 - 20:30-22:00 - Soccer City, Johannesburg (South Africa) Question what will happen ? Total Solar Eclipse + ?Global? Blackout - Flash Forward ? 11.07.2010 - MIX: - 9/11 2001 - Terrorist Attack (USA) - 11 - 7/7 2005 - Terrorist Attack (UK) - 7 - 2+0+0+1=3 2+0+0+5=7 3+7 = 10 = 11 & 7 & 10 = 11.07.2010 --- SHOW 2010: Shakira – Waka Waka (This Time for Africa) 2010 FIFA World Cup - Final - 11 July 2010 - 20:30 - Winners of Match 61 - Match 64 - Winners of Match 62 - Soccer City, Johannesburg July 11 (11.07.2010) - Total Solar Eclipse . South Africa: 20:00-22:00max = 2h ??? / from GIF (Wikipedia) by NASA Times (UTC) (P1) Partial begin - 17:09:41 (U1) Total begin - 18:15:15 Greatest eclipse - 19:34:38 (U4) Total end - 20:51:42 (P4) Partial end - 21:57:16 NASA: Geocentric Conjunction = 19:50:57.5

A man had great tickets for the World Cup 2010 Final . As he sits down, another man comes down and asks if anyone is sitting in the empty seat next to him. "No," he says. "The seat is empty." "This is incredible!" says the other man. "Who in their right mind would have a seat like this for the World Cup Final , the biggest sporting event, and not use it?" "Well, actually, the seat belongs to me. My wife was supposed to come with me, but she passed away. This is the first World Cup 2010 Final we haven't been to together since we got married." "Oh ... I'm sorry to hear that. That's terrible. But couldn't you find someone else, a friend or relative, or even a neighbor to take the seat?" The man shakes his head. "No. They're all at the funeral."

Dear Wife, 1. From 9 June to 9 July 2006, you should read the sports section of the newspaper so that you are aware of what is going on regarding the World Cup , and that way you will be able to join in the conversations. If you fail to do this, then you will be looked at in a bad way, or you will be totally ignored. DO NOT complain about not receiving any attention. 2. During the World Cup , the television is mine, at all times, without any exceptions. If you even take a glimpse of the remote control, you will lose it (your eye). 3. If you have to pass by in front of the TV during a game, I don't mind, as long as you do it crawling on the floor and without distracting me. 4. During the games I will be blind, deaf and mute, unless I require a refill of my drink or something to eat. You are out of your mind if you expect me to listen to you, open the door, answer the telephone. 5. It would be a good idea for you to keep at least 2 six packs in the fridge at all times, as well as ple

Two married buddies are out drinking one night when one turns to the other and says, "You know, I don't know what else to do. Whenever I go home after we've been out drinking, I turn the headlights off before I get to the driveway. I shut off the engine and coast into the garage. I take my shoes off before I go into the house, I sneak up the stairs, I get undressed in the bathroom. I ease into bed and my wife STILL wakes up and yells at me for staying out so late!" His buddy looks at him and says, "Well, you're obviously taking the wrong approach. I screech into the driveway, slam the door, storm up the steps, throw my shoes into the closet, jump into bed, rub my hands on my wife's ass and say, 'How about a bl0wjob?'... and she's always sound asleep." Prescription A woman sought help from her doctor. "All my husband does is complain that I never want to have sex with him," she said. "And he's right too. I have no desire

A man was cruising on his Harley up the California coast when suddenly the sky clouded above his head and, in a booming voice, the Lord said, "Because you have tried to be faithful to me in all ways, I will grant you one wish." The biker pulled over and said, "Build a bridge to Hawaii so I can ride over anytime I want." The Lord said, "Your request is materialistic, think of the enormous challenges for that kind of undertaking; the supports required reaching the bottom of the Pacific and the concrete and steel it would take! It will nearly exhaust several natural resources. Of course I can do it, but it is hard for me to justify your desire for worldly things. Take a little more time and think of something that could possibly help mankind." The biker thought about it for a long time. Finally, he said, "Lord, I wish that I and all men could understand women; I want to know how a woman feels inside, what she's thinking when she gives me the silent t