Its All Humor

The following is a telephone conversation between a hotel guest and room-service, at a hotel, which was recorded and published in the Far East Economic Review: Room Service (RS): 'Morrin. - Roon sirbees.' Guest (G): 'Sorry, I thought I dialed room-service.' RS: ' Rye ..Roon sirbees..morrin! Jewish to oddor sunteen??' G: 'Uh..yes..I'd like some bacon and eggs.' RS: 'Ow July den?' G: 'What??' RS: 'Ow July den?...pryed, boyud, poochd?' G : 'Oh, the eggs! How do I like them? Sorry, scrambled please.' RS: 'Ow July dee baykem? Crease?' G: 'Crisp will be fine.' RS : 'Hokay. An Sahn toes?' G: 'What?' RS:'An toes. July Sahn toes?' G: 'I don't think so.' RS: 'No? Judo wan sahn toes??' G: 'I feel really bad about this, but I don't know what 'judo wan sahn toes' means.' RS: 'Toes! toes!...Why jew don juan toes? Ow bow Anglish moppin we bodder?...

We all believe this is happening at our lives because of the technology we use .... 

IN PRISON you spend the majority of your time in an 8'X10' cell . AT WORK you spend most of your time in a 6'X8' cubicle .. IN PRISON you get three meals a day (free). AT WORK you only get a break for one meal and probably have to pay for it yourself . IN PRISON you get time off for good behaviours. AT WORK you get rewarded for good behaviours with more WORK. IN PRISON a guard locks and unlocks the doors for you .. AT WORK you must carry around a security card and unlock open all the doors yourself . IN PRISON you can watch TV and play games. AT WORK you get fired for watching TV and playing games. IN PRISON you get your own toilet . AT WORK you have to share . IN PRISON they allow your family and friends to visit. AT WORK you can not even speak to your ...

Man comes home, finds his wife with his friend in bed. He shoots his friend and kills him. Wife says : "If you behave like this, you will lose ALL your friends". ******************************************** A small Boy wrote to Santa Claus, "send me a brother" Santa wrote back, " SEND ME YOUR MOTHER" **************************************** What is the definition of Mistress? Someone between the Mister and Mattress *********************************** Husband asks: "Do u know that the meaning of WIFE is: W ithout I nformation F ighting E very-time Wife replies: " No,...... It means: W ith I diot F or E ver !!!" ***************************************** What's the difference between stress, tension and panic? Stress is when wife is pregnant,... Tension is when girlfriend is pregnant. Panic is when both are pregnant. **************************************** Grammar Teacher: Do you know the importance of a period? Kid: Yeah, once my sister ...

Q. how did the blonde girl try to kill the bird? A. she threw it off a cliff - A new guy in town walks into a bar and reads a sign that hangs over the bar... FRRE BEER! FREE BEER FOR THE PERSON WHO CAN PASS THE TEST! so the guy asks the barteder what the test is. bartender replies "well, first you have to drink that whole gallon of pepper tequila, the WHOLE thing at once and you can't make a face while doing it. second, there's a gator out back with a sore tooth... you have to remove it with you bare hands. third, there's a woman up-stairs who's never had an orgasm. you gotta make things right for her. "the guy says, " well , as much as i would love the free beer, i won't do it. you have to be nuts to drink a gallon of pepper taquila and then get crazier from there. well, as time goas on and the man drinks a few, he asks, " wherez zat teegeelah?" he grabs the gallon of teguilla white both hands, and downs it with a big slurp and t...

Dear Sirs, I'm in the process of renewing my passport, and still cannot believe this. How is it that Sky Television has my address and telephone number and knows that I bought a bleeding satellite dish from them back in 1987, and yet, the Government is still asking me where I was bloody born and on what date. For goodness sakes, do you guys do this by hand? My birth date you have on my pension book, and it is on all the income tax forms I've filed for the past 30 years.. It is on my National Health card, my driving license, my car insurance, on the last eight damn passports I've had, on all those stupid customs declaration forms I've had to fill out before being allowed off the plane over the last 30 years, and all those insufferable census forms. Would somebody please take note, once and for all, that my mother's name is Julie Blank, my father's name is Chris and I'd be absolutely astounded if that ever changed between now and when I die!!!!!! I apologise...

During an IRS audit, the auditor looked at the tax payer and exclaimed... ... "Well, sir, you have an extravagant lifestyle and no full-time employment, which you explain by saying that you win money gambling. I'm not sure the IRS finds that believable." "I'm a great gambler, and I can prove it," says Steve. "How about a demonstration?" The auditor thinks for a moment and said, "Okay. Go ahead." Steve says, "I'll bet you a thousand dollars that I can bite my own eye." The auditor thinks a moment and says, "No way! It's a bet." Steve removes his glass eye and bites it. The auditor's jaw drops. Steve says, "Now, I'll bet you two thousand dollars that I can bite my other eye." The auditor can tell Steve isn't blind, so he takes the bet. Steve removes his dentures and bites his good eye. The stunned auditor now realizes he has wagered and lost three grand, with Steve's attorney as a witn...

If   "The Big Bang Theory"  main stars or cast list  Johnny Galecki AKA Leonard Hofstadter, Jim Parsons AKA Sheldon Cooper, Kaley Cuoco AKA Penny,  Simon Helberg AKA Howard, Kunal Nayyar AKA Rajesh Koothrappali, Melissa Rauch AKA Bernadette Rostenkowski and Mayim Bialik AKA Amy Farrah Fowler get to act in the Chinese version of  " The Big Bang Theory " AKA  " 大爆炸理论 " this would how they look in Chinese costumes. Enjoy the pictures... This post is meant to be purely for entertainment, if you find it somehow unethical/abusive kindly leave a comment to remove the funny photos from this post. 

I want a hippopotamus for Christmas Only a hippopotamus will do Don't want a doll, no dinky Tinker Toy I want a hippopotamus to play with and enjoy I want a hippopotamus for Christmas I don't think Santa Claus will mind, do you? He won't have to use our dirty chimney flue Just bring him through the front door, that's the easy thing to do I can see me now on Christmas morning , creeping down the stairs Oh what joy and what surprise when I open up my eyes to see a hippo hero standing there I want a hippopotamus for Christmas Only a hippopotamus will do No crocodiles, no rhinoceroses I only like hippopotamuses And hippopotamuses like me too Mom says the hippo would eat me up, but then Teacher says a hippo is a Vegeterian There's lots of room for him in our two-car garage I'd feed him there and wash him there and give him his massage I can see me now on Christmas morning, creeping down the stairs Oh what joy and what surprise when I open up my eyes to see a hippo h...

The wall is not a random collection of gooey gums, some people in San Luis Obispo consider the wall a form of art. One can see an array of shapes, words and designs - there are faces and flowers, fraternity and sorority letters, and "I love SLO" spelled out in different colors and sizes. A closer glance at the gum-infested wall will expose an abundance of objects, such as pennies and dimes, sticking out of the wall as eyes for gum faces. If you are squeamish and easily disgusted, never walk along  Bubblegum Alley  and don’t touch the walls because lining the walls on this alley is a thick layer of over-chewed sticky bubble gums. This local tourist landmark is located in  downtown San Luis Obispo, California . The wall in question is 15-foot high and stretches for 70-foot along the alley. This dude needs to get a safety mask. Trying to find the Bubblegum which he contributed to this  Bubblegum wall  when he was a kid. According to the  San L...

If you farted consistently for 6 years and 9 months, enough gas is produced to create the energy of an atomic bomb. (Now that's more like it!)  If you yelled for 8 years, 7 months and 6 days you would have produced enough sound energy to heat one cup of coffee. The human heart creates enough pressure when it pumps out to the body to squirt blood 30 feet. (O.M.G.!) A pig's orgasm lasts 30 minutes.  (Guys you wanna be pig in your next life right :) ) Cockroach will live nine days without its head before it starves to death. (Creepy.) (I'm still not over the pig.) Banging your head against a wall uses 150 calories an hour. (Do not try this at home...... maybe at work.) The flea can jump 350 times its body length. It's like a human jumping the length of a football field.  (30 minutes... lucky pig... can you imagine??) The catfish has over 27,000 taste buds. Some lions mate over 50 times a day.  ( I want quality over quantity) Butterflies taste with their feet. (...

Why is it that if someone tells you that there are 1 billion stars in the universe you will believe them but if they tell you a wall has wet paint you will have to touch it to be sure? Where is the cat in the catwalk? Do models walk like cats? Which idiot put an 's' in the word lisp? If man evolved from apes why do we still have apes? Why do they call it a TV set when you only get one? If an orange is orange, why isn't a lime called a green or a lemon called a yellow? What should you do if you see an endangered animal eating an endangered plant? Y2K???? maybe 1 K just wasn't enough. If you had amnesia and then were cured, would you remember that you forgot? Why is the word abbreviation so long? Is it true that cannibals won't eat clowns because they taste funny? Do hyenas laugh even when they are being killed? Why do we press harder on remote control buttons when we know the battery is dead? Why do overlook and oversee mean opposite things? When you have your ...

Well, Christmas is around the corner and i guess you might like funny cool merry christmas sayings quotes which i have collected here from various sources so you can wish your friends or joke with them.   Merry Christmas !! I once bought my kids a set of batteries for Christmas with a note on it saying, toys not included. ~ Bernard Manning. Santa saw your Facebook photos. You're getting clothes and a dictionary for this Christmas - Santa Claus Dear Santa , this year all i want is a fat bank account and a skinny body. Let's try not to mix up the two like you did last year, Ok ;) How to open the buds of Barbara branch until Christmas, so let the man open up to the next light. I stopped believing in Santa Claus when I was six. Mother took me to see him in a department store and he asked for my autograph. ~ Shirley Temple A candle can burn once and really take the time to do anything further than this Need to make Christmas purchases in crowded stores, causin...