Q. how did the blonde girl try to kill the bird?
A. she threw it off a cliff
- A new guy in town walks into a bar and reads a sign that hangs over the bar...
FRRE BEER! FREE BEER FOR THE PERSON WHO CAN PASS THE TEST! so the guy asks the barteder what the test is.
bartender replies "well, first you have to drink that whole gallon of pepper tequila, the WHOLE thing at once and you can't make a face while doing it. second, there's a gator out back with a sore tooth... you have to remove it with you bare hands. third, there's a woman up-stairs who's never had an orgasm. you gotta make things right for her. "the guy says, " well , as much as i would love the free beer, i won't do it. you have to be nuts to drink a gallon of pepper taquila and then get crazier from there.
well, as time goas on and the man drinks a few, he asks, " wherez zat teegeelah?"
he grabs the gallon of teguilla white both hands, and downs it with a big slurp and tears streaming down his face. next, he staggers out back and soon all the people inside hear the mmost frightening roaring and thumping, then silence. the man stagger back into the bar, his shirt ripped and big scratches all over his body.
"now" he says "where's that woman with the sore tooth?"
- a guy named benny is sitting in a bar mounthing off that he knows everybody. so his buddy bets 10$ the next peron to walk in the bar didn't know him.
somebody walks in the bar and says "hey benny what's up?" so the guy then bets him $100 he doesn't know the first person they see outside walking down the street. so they go outside and see some coming up to the bar and says " hey benny how ar things going?"
flustered the guy bets him $500 he doesn't know the presedident. so they drive up to the white house and security gaurd says " benny you know you can't just show up here like this." then a limo pulls up with the president in it and he rolls down the window and says "hey benny how have you been?"
so then he bets $1000 he doesn't know the pope. so they take a plane down to rome and he says "ok now watch up there on that balcony i'm gonna come out there with the pope." so he goes up there and looks down to see his friend pass out. he goes down there and says "are you that suprised that i know the pope?" he goes "no somebody walked behind me and said who's that guy up there with benny!"
- two guys in a bar are watching the TV. there is a news report about a man who treatens to jump off a 5 story building unless the cops give him 3000 dollars. one guy at the bar says to the other: "I bet you 100 bucks the guy jumps". the other guy takes the bet, and the guy on tv ends up jumping. the guy hands over the $100, but the winner gives it back, saying that he had already seen the guy jump on the earlier showing. the loser says "well i saw it too buy i didn't think he would jump again"
You can find some more hilarious funny jokes here
A. she threw it off a cliff
- A new guy in town walks into a bar and reads a sign that hangs over the bar...
FRRE BEER! FREE BEER FOR THE PERSON WHO CAN PASS THE TEST! so the guy asks the barteder what the test is.
bartender replies "well, first you have to drink that whole gallon of pepper tequila, the WHOLE thing at once and you can't make a face while doing it. second, there's a gator out back with a sore tooth... you have to remove it with you bare hands. third, there's a woman up-stairs who's never had an orgasm. you gotta make things right for her. "the guy says, " well , as much as i would love the free beer, i won't do it. you have to be nuts to drink a gallon of pepper taquila and then get crazier from there.
well, as time goas on and the man drinks a few, he asks, " wherez zat teegeelah?"
he grabs the gallon of teguilla white both hands, and downs it with a big slurp and tears streaming down his face. next, he staggers out back and soon all the people inside hear the mmost frightening roaring and thumping, then silence. the man stagger back into the bar, his shirt ripped and big scratches all over his body.
"now" he says "where's that woman with the sore tooth?"
- a guy named benny is sitting in a bar mounthing off that he knows everybody. so his buddy bets 10$ the next peron to walk in the bar didn't know him.
somebody walks in the bar and says "hey benny what's up?" so the guy then bets him $100 he doesn't know the first person they see outside walking down the street. so they go outside and see some coming up to the bar and says " hey benny how ar things going?"
flustered the guy bets him $500 he doesn't know the presedident. so they drive up to the white house and security gaurd says " benny you know you can't just show up here like this." then a limo pulls up with the president in it and he rolls down the window and says "hey benny how have you been?"
so then he bets $1000 he doesn't know the pope. so they take a plane down to rome and he says "ok now watch up there on that balcony i'm gonna come out there with the pope." so he goes up there and looks down to see his friend pass out. he goes down there and says "are you that suprised that i know the pope?" he goes "no somebody walked behind me and said who's that guy up there with benny!"
- two guys in a bar are watching the TV. there is a news report about a man who treatens to jump off a 5 story building unless the cops give him 3000 dollars. one guy at the bar says to the other: "I bet you 100 bucks the guy jumps". the other guy takes the bet, and the guy on tv ends up jumping. the guy hands over the $100, but the winner gives it back, saying that he had already seen the guy jump on the earlier showing. the loser says "well i saw it too buy i didn't think he would jump again"
You can find some more hilarious funny jokes here
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