Tuesday, November 22, 2011

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Thirty things to avoid hearing in surgery room

Below are thirty things to avoid hearing in surgery room, god i don't want to be in this situation ever...

The left vein's connected to the...right aorta...the left brain's connected to the..stomach bone...

Accept this sacrifice, O Great Lord of Darkness.

I had a bad feeling about this case, but that tarot card reader made me feel much better.

Ah well, you win some, you lose some...

Alright everyone, let's dig in.

Alright, this is our first operation, we should set up some kind of system. Hmmm...I'm thinking we have a sort of good cop, bad cop thing going on...

Alright... today's surgery will be performed by an American doctor...

An instruction manual would have been nice.

And now presenting: "Trading Spaces: Hospital edition!"

And now we remove the subject's brain and place it in the body of the ape.

Anyone see where I left that scalpel?

At least he doesn't have brain damage... Wait... Now he does.

Better save that. We'll need it for the autopsy.

I've seen his bank balance, and my recommended treatment is euthanasia.

Heehee - that was a good one. Here try this...just give his brain a poke...riiight...there...

Check the fridge... Nope, just beer.

Could you stop that thing from beating

Death is probable... Now it's certain.

Do you see that bag?... You don't want to go in there.

Doctor Hannibal Lector, please come to the operating room, Doctor Hannibal Lector...

Doesn't this remind you of that scene from Family Guy?

God performs miracles... I don't.

Don't worry, ain't nothing a little duct tape won't cure...

FIRE! FIRE! Everyone get out!

Has anyone here used one of these before?

Everybody stand back! I lost my contact lens!

Hey! Give that back! There's no law against drinking in the operating room...

If she doesn't last, at least this picture we took will.

Is this patient really here, or is it just my Schizophrenia?

It didn't work on that guy, let's try it with this one.

Look on the bright side, at least his wife won't have to worry about getting pregnant...


1 Comment:

Stephen Hayes said...

Mrs. Chatterbox is having surgery next Tuesday. I'll save this and read it to her on Wednesday.