Its All Humor

Everyone ask me why i smoke so much ..... I was not like this .......... I was like this Until I saw this girl I liked her so much that i told a lot of truth and lies to her example "u r soooo cute" I promised her a lot.. I gave her costly gifts on February 14th.. this one... I gave her a shock like this when she accepted my proposal... I used to talk whole night and do this at work... When ever i go out with my girl friend , My friends used to give me this look Then I used to give them a pose like this At last my girl friend gave the roses to me like this... and went away I didn't know what to do , where to go... …..then i got my precious ... .......and i started smoking & drinking...

This is an actual job application someone submitted at a McDonald's fast-food establishment AND THEY HIRED HIM. ( NAME: George Ballmun DESIRED POSITION: Reclining. HA HA, but seriously, whatever is available. If I was in a position to be picky, I wouldn't be applying here in the first place. DESIRED SALARY: $185,000 a year plus stock options and a Michael Ovitz style severance package. If that's not possible make an offer and we can haggle. EDUCATION: Yes. LAST POSITION HELD: Target for middle management hostility. SALARY: Less than I'm worth. MOST NOTABLE ACHIEVEMENT: My incredible collection of stolen pens and post-it notes. REASON FOR LEAVING: It sucked. HOURS AVAILABLE TO WORK: Any. PREFERRED HOURS: 1:30-3:30 p.m., Monday, Tuesday, and Thursday. DO YOU HAVE ANY SPECIAL SKILLS?: Yes, but they're better suited to a more intimate environment. MAY WE CONTACT YOUR CURRENT EMPLOYER?: If I had one, would I be here? DO YOU HAVE ANY PHYSICAL CONDITIONS THAT WOULD PR

This is for the mother of boys and all you boys of all ages..

I was testing children in my Glasgow Sunday school class to see if they understood the concept of getting into heaven. I asked them, "If I sold my house and my car, had a big jumble sale and gave all my money to the church, would that get me into heaven?" "NO!" the children answered. "If I cleaned the church every day, mowed the garden and kept everything tidy, would that get me into heaven?" Again, the answer was 'No!' By now I was starting to smile. "Well, then, if I was kind to animals and gave sweeties to all the children, and loved my husband, would that get me into heaven?" Again, they all answered 'No!' I was just bursting with pride for them. I continued, "Then how can I get into heaven?" A six year old boy shouted, "Yuv goat tae be ~Sweary~' deid" ________________________________ Kinda brings a wee tear tae yir e'e...

"If you ever see me getting beaten by the police, put down the video camera and come help me." --Bobcat Goldthwait "I've been doing the Fonda workout: the Peter Fonda workout. That's where I wake up, take a hit of acid, smoke a joint, and run to my sister's house and ask her for money." --Kevin Meaney "My mom said she learned how to swim. Someone took her out in the lake and threw her off the boat. That's how she learned how to swim. I said, 'Mom, they weren't trying to teach you how to swim.' " --Paula Poundstone "In elementary school, in case of fire you have to line up quietly in a single file line from smallest to tallest. What is the logic? Do tall people burn slower?" --Warren Hutcherson "I have six locks on my door all in a row. When I go out, I lock every other one. I figure no matter how long somebody stands there picking the locks, they are always locking three." --Elayne Boosler "Ever wonder i

When you occasionally have a really bad day, and you just need to take it out on someone, don't take it out on someone you know, take it out on someone you don't know.I was sitting at my desk when I remembered a phone call I'd forgotten to make. I found the number and dialed it. A man answered, saying "Hello."I politely said, "This is Chris. Could I please speak with Robyn Carter?"Suddenly a manic voice yelled out in my ear "Get the right f***ing number!" and the phone was slammed down on me. I couldn't believe that anyone could be so rude . When I tracked down Robyn's correct number to call her, I found that I had accidentally transposed the last two digits.After hanging up with her, I decided to call the 'wrong' number again.When the same guy answered the phone, I yelled "You're an a$$hole!" and hung up. I wrote his number down with the word 'a$$hole' next to it, and put it in my desk drawer. Every couple

A woman brought a very limp duck into a veterinary surgeon . As she lay her pet on the table, The veterinary surgeon pulled out his stethoscope and listened to the bird's chest . After a moment or two, The veterinary surgeon shook his head sadly and said, "I'm so sorry, your Duck Cuddles has passed away." The distressed owner wailed, "Are you sure? "Yes, I am sure. The duck is dead," he replied. "How can you be so sure," she protested. "I mean, you haven't done any testing on him or anything. He might just be in a coma or something." The veterinary surgeon rolled his eyes, turned around and left the room, and returned a few moments later with a black Labrador Retriever . As the duck's owner looked on in amazement, the dog stood on his hind legs, put his front paws on the examination table and sniffed the duck from top to bottom. He then looked at The veterinary surgeon with sad eyes and shook his head. The veterinary surgeon

Four Catholic men and a Catholic woman were having coffee. The first Catholic man tells his friends, "My son is a priest, when he walks into a room, everyone calls him ' Father '." The second Catholic man chirps, "My son is a Bishop . When he walks into a room, people call him ' Your Grace '." The third Catholic gent says, "My son is a Cardinal . When he enters a room, everyone says ' Your Eminence '." The fourth Catholic man then says, "My son is the Pope . When he walks into a room, people call him ' Your Holiness '." Since the lone Catholic woman was sipping her coffee in silence, the four men give her a subtle, "Well....?" She proudly replies, "I have a daughter, slim, tall, 38D breast, 24 " waist and 34" hips. When she walks into a room, people say, " Oh My God ."

Last week was my birthday and I didn't feel very well waking up on that morning. I went downstairs for breakfast hoping my wife would be pleasant and say, 'Happy Birthday!', and possibly have a small present for me. As it turned out, she barely said good morning, let alone' Happy Birthday.' I thought....Well, that's marriage for you, but the kids...They will remember. My kids came bounding down stairs to breakfast and didn't say a word. So when I left for the office, I felt pretty low and somewhat despondent. As I walked into my office, my secretary Jane said, 'Good Morning Boss, and by the way Happy Birthday! It felt a little better that at least someone had remembered. I worked until one o'clock, when Jane knocked on my door and said, 'You know, it's such a beautiful day outside, and it is your Birthday, what do you say we go out to lunch, just you and me? I said, 'Thanks, Jane, that's the greatest thing I've heard all day.Let&#

Ladies - If you accidentally over-salt a dish while it's still cooking, drop in a peeled potato and it will absorb the excess salt for an instant "fix-me-up." Real Women - If you over-salt a dish while you are cooking, that's too damn bad. Please recite with me, The Real Women's motto: "I made it and you will eat it and I don't care how bad it tastes." ************************************************************* Ladies - Cure for headaches: Take a lime, cut it in half and rub it on your forehead. The throbbing will go away. Real Women - Take a lime, mix it with tequila, chill and drink. You might still have the headache, but who cares? ************************************************************* Ladies - Stuff a miniature marshmallow! In the bottom of a sugar cone to prevent ice cream drips. Real Women - Just suck the ice cream out of the bottom of the cone, for Pete's sake. You are probably lying your ass on the couch, with your feet up anyway

God went missing for 6 days. Michael the Archangel found God resting on the 7th day. He inquired of God, "Where have you been?" God sighed a deep sigh of satisfaction and proudly pointed downwards, "Look Michael, look what I've made." Michael looked puzzled and said, "What is it?" It's a planet," replied God, "and I've put LIFE on it. I'm going to call it EARTH and it's going to be a great place of balance." "Balance?" inquired Michael, still confused. God explained, pointing to the different parts of EARTH, "For example, Northern Europe will be a place of great opportunity and wealth while Southern Europe is going to be poor, the Middle East over-there will be a hot spot. Over there, I've placed a continent of white people and over there is a continent of black people. "This one will be extremely hot and arid while this one will be very cold and covered in ice. " The Archangel impressed by Go

I had someone ask for an aisle seats so that his or her hair wouldn't get messed up by being near the window. A client called in inquiring about a package to Hawaii . After going over all the cost info, she asked, "Would it be cheaper to fly to California and then take the train to Hawaii?" I got a call from a woman who wanted to go to Capetown. I started to explain the length of the flight and the passport information when she interrupted me with "I'm not trying to make you look stupid, but Capetown is in Massachusetts. "Without trying to make her look like the stupid one, I calmly explained, "Capecod is in Massachusetts, Capetown is in Africa." Her response ... click. A man called, furious about a Florida package we did. I asked what was wrong with the vacation in Orlando. He said he was expecting an ocean-view room. I tried to explain that is not possible, since Orlando is in the middle of the state. He replied, "Don't lie to me. I l

This is the simplest way to watch youtube without internet connection at any part of the world.. I wouldn't say "Don't Try This At Home" :)

Dear John I hope you can help me. The other day, I set off for work leaving my husband in the house watching TV. My car started stalling and then it broke down about a mile down the road and I had to walk back to get my husband's help. When I got home, I couldn't believe my eyes. He was in our bedroom with the neighbor's daughter! I am 32, my husband is 34, and the neighbor's daughter is 19. We have been married for ten years. When I confronted him, he broke down and admitted that they had been having an affair for the past six months. He won't go to counseling and I'm afraid I am a wreck and need advice urgently. Can you please help? Sincerely, Sheila Dear Sheila: A car stalling after being driven a short distance can be caused by a variety of faults with the engine. Start by checking that there is no debris in the fuel line. If it is clear, check the vacuum pipes and hoses on the intake manifold and also check all grounding wires. If none of these approaches s

These employee evaluation quotes about life were taken from actual performance evaluations. 1. "Since my last report, this employee has reached rock bottom and has started to dig." 2. "I would not allow this employee to breed." 3. "This associate is really not so much of a has-been, but more of a definitely won't be." 4. "This young lady has delusions of adequacy." 5. "Works well when under constant supervision and cornered like a rat in a trap." 6. "When she opens her mouth, it seems that this is only to change whichever foot was previously in there." 7. "He sets low personal standards and then consistently fails to achieve them." 8. "This employee is depriving a village somewhere of an idiot." 9. "This employee should go far - and the sooner he starts, the better." These quotes are actual lines from military performance appraisals. 1. Got into the gene pool when the

We'll begin with a box, and the plural is boxes, But the plural of ox becomes oxen, not oxes. One fowl is a goose, but two are called geese, Yet the plural of moose should never be meese. You may find a lone mouse or a nest full of mice, Yet the plural of house is houses, not hice. If the plural of man is always called men, Why shouldn't the plural of pan be called pen? If I speak of my foot and show you my feet, And I give you a boot, would a pair be called beet? If one is a tooth and a whole set are teeth, Why shouldn't the plural of booth be called beeth? Then one may be that, and three would be those, Yet hat in the plural would never be hose, And the plural of cat is cats, not cose. We speak of a brother and also of brethren, But though we say mother, we never say methren. Then the masculine pronouns are he, his and him, But imagine the feminine: she, shis and shim! Let's face it - English is a crazy language. There is no egg in eggplant nor ham in hamburger; Neith

If you need a good laugh, try reading through these childrens science exam answers... Q: Name the four seasons. A: Salt, pepper, mustard and vinegar. Q: Explain one of the processes by which water can be made safe to drink. A: Flirtation makes water safe to drink because it removes large pollutants like grit, sand, dead sheep and canoeists. Q: How is dew formed? A: The sun shines down on the leaves and makes them perspire. Q: How can you delay milk turning sour? (Brilliant, love this!) A: Keep it in the cow. Q: What causes the tides in the oceans? A: The tides are a fight between the Earth and the Moon. All water tends to flow towards the moon, because there is no water on the moon, and nature hates a vacuum. I forget where the sun joins in this fight. Q: What are steroids? A: Things for keeping carpets still on the stairs... Q: What happens to your body as you age? A: When you get old, so do your bowels and you get intercontinental Q: What happens to a boy when he reaches puberty? A:

1.) Order pizza and other food to their house and pick it up at their doorstep claiming that you don't have a phone. 2.) Stand over the plants in your yard with a hose and Scream, "I have your life in my hands, bow down to me!". Then point at each one and declare them good or bad plants, while watering the bad ones. 3.) Bring them restraining orders on inanimate objects in their house. (i.e.: chairs, books, lamps, etc.) 4.) Ask them if you can put your trash in their cans, if they ask why say, "Mine are full of bodies", then stutter and say, "I uh mean other garbage." walk away laughing hysterically. 5.) Patrol the perimeter of your yard while carrying a broom. If they come close state that there is a 3 foot neutral area between the two yards. 6.) At night transplant the plants in their garden. In the morning say, "looks like they're on the move again." 7.) When they're watching TV, pull a lawn chair behind their window. Sit down with

1. You see a gorgeous girl at a party. You go up to her and say: "I am very rich. Marry me!" - * That's Direct Marketing .* 2. You're at a party with a bunch of friends and see a gorgeous girl. One of your friends goes up to her and pointing at you says: "He's very rich. Marry him." - * That's Advertising .* 3. You see a gorgeous girl at a party. You go up to her and get her telephone number. The next day, you call and say: "Hi, I'm very rich. Marry me." - * That's Telemarketing .* 4. You're at a party and see gorgeous girl. You get up and straighten your tie, you walk up to her and pour her a drink, you open the door (of the car) for her, pick up her bag after she drops it, offer her ride and then say: "By the way, I'm rich. Will you marry me?" - * T hat's Public Relations .* 5. You're at a party and see gorgeous girl. She walks up to you and says: "You are very rich! Can you marry ! me?" - * Th

How can vegetarians possibly love the environment.. you keep eating all the f$$$ing plants Friend: Man, my penis is so big if I laid it out on a keyboard it'd go all the way from A to Z wait, shit. My sister caught me jacking off the other week and calls me a pervert. Just the other day i walked into my room and caught my sister masturbating, so she calls me a pervert again?!? There is no justice in the world... Facebook keeps giving me targeted ads for gay social networking sites, and telling me where I can meet "hot gay men in my area." I am a straight female. I walked by a really big guy on a bike the other day. He yelled, "GET OUT OF THE WAY." He was on an exercise bike at the gym. It was either going to be the best orrgsm I ever had, or I was going to shit myself. I played it safe and made him stop. Saying that Java is nice because it works on all OS's is like saying that @nel s3x is nice because it works on all genders. my math teacher staples burger k

Girls and Windows Both have a great UI(User Interface). Both consume large resources and do less work. Both crash unexpectedly. Both are not easily portable on different architectures (environment). Both can't work on low resource architectures (environment). Both are costly to maintain. Both give mostly unexpected outputs. Both working often contradicts with their documentation. Both are easily prone to viruses (rumors and doubts) (and they (viruses) do spread very fast in windows based networks). In spite of all above disadvantages, both are liked very much. Boys and Linux Both have an average UI(User Interface). Both are robust. Both are highly secure. Both can be easily modified to support new concepts/features. Both are efficient. Both are easily portable to any architecture (environment) no matter how low are resources. You can easily guess the output for your input (in Linux just open its code, for boys they are mostly transparent by nature). Both provide

Telesales agent getting the customer's credit card info: Agent: Can I have your expiration date, sir? Customer: My what?!! ------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- - Agent verifying info from the customer: Agent: Is that a P for Ping-Pong? Customer: No, it's B. Agent: Oh, B, like Bing-Bong... ------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- ------- Agent answering a call: Agent: Thank you for calling Dish Network Department, my name is Vince..... (sees that the number called by customer is for a different client-- a DirecTV dealer). Customer: So, I called the wrong number then? Agent: Let me transfer you to DirecTV please dont go.... (puts the customer on hold, and then)... Thank you for calling DirecTV Department, my name is Vince... ------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- ------ Agent wrapping up the sale: Agent: Our INSTALLATORS will contact you within the next 24 hours to verify your installation schedules... Customer: Uhm.... say what, now. Who

At last a guy has taken the time to write this all down Finally,the guys' side of the story. (must admit, it's pretty good.) We always hear"the rules" From the female side. Now here are the rules from the male side. These are our rules! Please note.. these are all numbered "1 " ON PURPOSE! 1.Men are NOT mind readers. 1.. Learn to work the toilet seat. You're a big girl. If it's up, put it down.. We need it up, you need it down. You don't hear us complaining about you leaving it down. 1. Sunday sports It's like the full moon or the changing of the tides. Let it be. 1. Crying is blackmail. 1. Ask for what you want. Let us be clear on this one: Subtle hints do not work! Strong hints do not work! Obvious hints do not work! Just say it! 1. Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every question. 1. Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it. That's what we do. Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for. 1. Anythin

Let's face it, English is a stupid language. There is no egg in the eggplant. No ham in the hamburger. And neither pine nor apple in the pineapple. English muffins were not invented in England. And French fries were not invented in France. We sometimes take English for granted. But if we examine its paradoxes we find that Quicksand takes you down slowly, Boxing rings are square And a guinea pig is neither from Guinea nor is it a pig. If writers write, how come fingers don't fing? If the plural of tooth is teeth, Shouldn't the plural of phone booth be phone beeth? If the teacher taught, Why didn't the preacher praught? If a vegetarian eats vegetables, What the heck does a humanitarian eat? Why do people recite at a play, Yet play at a recital? Park on driveways and Drive on parkways? How can the weather be as hot as hell on one day And as cold as hell on another? You have to marvel at the unique lunacy Of a language where a house can burn up as It burns down. And in whic

* "Any intelligent fool can make things bigger, more complex, and more violent. It takes a touch of genius -- and a lot of courage -- to move in the opposite direction." * "Imagination is more important than knowledge." * "Gravitation is not responsible for people falling in love." * "I want to know God's thoughts; the rest are details." * "The hardest thing in the world to understand is the income tax." * "Reality is merely an illusion, albeit a very persistent one." * "The only real valuable thing is intuition." * "A person starts to live when he can live outside himself." * "I am convinced that He (God) does not play dice." * "God is subtle but he is not malicious." * "Weakness of attitude becomes weakness of character." * "I never think of the future. It comes soon enough." * "The eternal mystery of the world is its comprehensibility." * "Someti

-- You keep more food than beer in the fridge. -- 6:00 AM is when you get up, not when you go to bed. -- You hear your favorite song on an elevator. -- You watch the Weather Channel. -- Your friends marry and divorce instead of hook up and break up. -- You go from 130 days of vacation time to 14. -- Jeans and a sweater no longer qualify as "dressed up." -- You're the one calling the police because those %&@# kids next door won't turn down the stereo. -- You don't know what time Taco Bell closes anymore. -- Your car insurance goes down and your payments go up. -- Sleeping on the couch makes your back hurt. -- You no longer take naps from noon to 6 PM. -- Dinner and a movie is the whole date, instead of the beginning of one. -- A $4.00 bottle of wine is no longer "pretty good stuff." -- You actually eat breakfast food at breakfast time. -- 90% of the time you spend in front of a computer is for real work. -- You drink at home to save money before going

Sleeping Dog One afternoon, a woman was in her back yard hanging the laundry when an old, tired-looking dog wandered into the yard. The woman could tell from the dog's collar and well-fed belly that he had a home. But when she walked into the house, the dog followed her, sauntered down the hall and fell asleep in a corner. An hour later, he went to the door, and the woman let him out. The next day the dog was back. He resumed his position in the hallway and slept for an hour. This continued for several weeks. Curious, the woman pinned a note to his collar: "Every afternoon, your dog comes to my house for a nap." The next day he arrived with a different note pinned to his collar: "We have ten children. He's trying to catch up on his sleep."

--Windows: Layers of dirty film on windows and screens provide a helpful filter against harmful and aging rays from the sun. Call it an SPF factor of 15 and leave it alone. -- Cobwebs: Artfully draped over lampshades reduce the glare from the bulb,thereby creating a romantic atmosphere. If someone points out that the light fixtures need dusting, simply look confused and exclaim "What? And spoil the mood?" (Or just throw glitter on them and call them holiday decorations.) -- Pet Hair: Explain the mound of pet hair brushed up against the doorways by claiming you are collecting it there to use for stuffing hand-sewn play animals for underprivileged children. (Also keeps out cold drafts in winter.) -- Guests: If unexpected company is coming, pile everything unsightly into one room and close the door. As you show your guests through your tidy home, rattle the door knob vigorously, fake a growl and say, "I'd love you to see our den, but Fluffy hates to be disturbed and the

Now, we know why dogs hate Halloween so much. Happy Holloween..

Ever wonder about all those people who say they are giving more than 100 percent of themselves? How about achieving 103 percent? Here's a little mathematical formula that might help you answer these questions: If A B C D E F G H I J K L M N O P Q R S T U V W X Y Z is represented as 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24 25 26 ... then H-A-R-D-W-O-R-K = 98 percent (8+1+18+4+23+15+18+11) and K-N-O-W-L-E-D-G-E = 96 percent (11+14+15+23+12+5+4+7+5) but.... A-T-T-I-T-U-D-E = 100 percent (1+20+20+9+20+21+4+5) B-U-L-L-S-H-I-T = 103 percent (2+21+12+12+19+8+9+20) And look how far ass kissing will take you: A-S-S-K-I-S-S-I-N-G = 118 percent (1+19+19+11+9+19+19+9+14+7) So, one can then conclude with mathematical certainty that while hard work and knowledge will get you close and attitude will get you there, a little bullshit and some ass kissing will put you over the top.

Reply to all their questions in song. As soon as they name the corporation they represent begin barking relentlessly. Proudly describe what you found in your ear this morning. Ask them what color underwear they are wearing today. Interrupt them repeatedly to describe the beauty of your new toaster. Ask them repeatedly if they believe in antelopes. Ask them what they think would happen if you put a frog in a blender later tell them they were wrong. Ask them for their phone number so that you can call them back and chat some more. Burst into tears when they try to hang up and scream, "Don't leave me!" Burst into tears, put the phone down and, "Honey, Don't leave me!" Tell them about the time you got stuck in the doggy door. When they ask to speak to you spend a long time trying to decide if that really is your name and after you realize it is ask them to remind you of it occasionally. In the middle of the conversation start humming the Sesame Street theme song

Teacher: If I gave you 2 rabbits , and another 2 rabbits and another 2, how many will you have? Johnny: Seven Sir Teacher: No, listen carefully. If I gave you 2 rabbits , and another 2 rabbits and another 2, how many will you have? Johnny: Seven Teacher: Let me put it to you differently. If I gave you 2 apples, and another 2 apples and another 2, how many will you have? Johnny: Six. Teacher: Good. Now if I gave you 2 rabbits , and another 2 rabbits and another 2, how many will you have? Johnny: Seven!!! Teacher: Where the f**k do you get seven from?!?!? Johnny: Because I f**king have 1 at home!!!

Dave and his buddies were hanging out discussing an upcoming fishing trip. Unfortunately he had to tell them that he couldn't go this time because his wife wouldn't let him. After a lot of teasing and name calling, Dave headed home frustrated. The following week when Dave's buddies arrived at the lake to set up camp, they were shocked to see Dave!!! He was already sitting at the Campground with a cold beer, swag rolled out, fishing rod in hand, and camp fire glowing. "How did you talk your missus into letting you go Dave?" "I didn't have to", Dave replied. "Yesterday, when I left work, I went home and slumped down in my chair with a beer to drown my sorrows because I couldn't go fishing. Then the ol'lady snuck up behind me and covered my eyes and said 'Surprise'." When I peeled her hands back, she was standing there in a beautiful see through negligee and she said, 'carry me into the bedroom, tie me to the bed, and you c

July 18 - I just tried to connect to America Online. I've heard it is the best online service I can get. They even included a free disk! I'd better hold onto it in case they don't ever send me anther one! I can't connect. I don't know what is wrong. July 19 - Some guy at the tech support center says my computer needs a modem. I don't see why. He's just trying to cheat me. How dumb does he think I am? July 22 - I bought the modem. I couldn't figure out where it goes. It wouldn't fit in the monitor or the printer. I'm confused. July 23 - I finally got the modem in and hooked up. that nine year old next door did it for me. But it still don't work. I cant get online. July 25 - That nine year old kid next door hooked me up to America Online for me. He's so smart. I told the kid he was a prodigy. But he says that's just another service. What a modest kid. He's so smart and he does these services for people. Anyway he's smarter then

Now, its time for people to buy fat laptops

About a century or two ago, the Pope decided that all the Chinese had to leave Italy. Naturally there was a big uproar from the Chinese community. So the Pope made a deal. He would have a religious debate with a member of the Chinese community. If the Chinese win, they could stay. If the Pope wins, the Chinese would leave. The Chinese realized that they had no other choice. So they picked a middle-aged man named Ah Peh to represent them. Ah Peh asked for one condition to be added to the debate. "To make it more interesting", he said, "Neither side would be allowed to talk". The Pope agreed. The day of the great debate came. Ah Peh and the Pope sat opposite each other for a full minute. Then the Pope raised his hand and showed three fingers. Ah Peh looked back at him and raised one finger. The Pope waved his fingers in a circle around his head. Ah Peh pointed to the ground at where he sat. The Pope pulled out a loaf and a glass of wine. Ah Peh pull out an apple. The