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British English Vs Asian English

Our english is simple, short, concise, straight to the point, effective etc....... Who got time for grammer, punctuation and others ... Simple and straight

 WHEN GIVING A CUSTOMER BAD NEWS
Britons: I'm sorry, Sir, but we don't seem to have the sweater you want in your size, but if you give me a moment, I can call the other outlets for you.
Asian : No Stock.

RETURNING A CALL
Britons: Hello, this is John Smith. Did anyone page for me a few moments ago?
Asian : Hello, who page?

ASKING SOMEONE TO MAKE WAY .
Britons: Excuse me, I'd like to get by. Would you please make way?
Asian : S-kew me

WHEN SOMEONE OFFERS TO PAY
Britons: Hey, put your wallet away, this drink is on me.
Asian : No-need, lah.

WHEN ASKING FOR PERMISSION
Britons: Excuse me, but do you think it would be possible for me to enter through this door?
Asian : (pointing the door) can AR?

WHEN ENTERTAINING
Britons: Please make yourself right at home.
Asian : Don't be shy, lah!  (Singaporean english aka singlish)

WHEN DOUBTING SOMEONE
Britons: I don't recall you giving me the money.
Asian : Where got?

WHEN DECLINING AN OFFER
Britons: I'd prefer not to do that, if you don't mind.
Asian : Don't want la...

IN DISAGREEING ON A TOPIC OF DISCUSSION
Britons: Err. Tom, I have to stop you there. I understand where you're coming from, but I really have to disagree with what you said about the issue.
Asian : You mad, ah?

WHEN ASKING SOMEONE TO LOWER THEIR VOICE.
Britons: Excuse me, but could you please ! Lower your voice, I'm trying to concentrate over here.
Asian : Shut up lah!  (Singaporean english aka singlish)

WHEN ASKING SOMEONE IF HE/SHE KNOWS YOU.
Britons: Excuse me, but I noticed you staring at me for some time. Do I know you?
Asian : See what, see what?

WHEN ASSESSING A TIGHT SITUATION.
Britons: We seem to be in a bit of a predicament at the moment.
Asian : Die-lah!! (Singaporean english aka singlish)

WHEN TRYING TO FIND OUT WHAT HAD HAPPENED
Britons: Will someone tell me what has just happened?
Asian : Wat happen Why like that....

WHEN SOME ONE DID SOMETHING WRONG
Britons: This isn't the way to do it here let me show you,
Asian : like that also don't know how to do!!!!

WHEN ONE IS ANGRY
Britons: Would you mind not disturbing me
Asian : get lost ....
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