Its All Humor

For all the geeks out there, do you know someone who tried to teach themselves how to read Barcode? Here is a list of Funny Geek quotes, sayings and phrases . Some of them are from Boardofwisdom who put together a nice compilation themselves. 1. Roses are #FF0000, Violets are #0000FF. All my base Are belong to you — someone on SlashDot 2. There is no place like 127.0.0.1 3. Girls are like Internet Domain names, the ones I like are already taken 4. Programming today is a race between software engineers striving to build bigger and better idiot-proof programs, and the Universe trying to produce bigger and better idiots. So far, the Universe is winning 5. Computers are incredibly fast, accurate, and stupid; humans are incredibly slow, inaccurate and brilliant; together they are powerful beyond imagination. — Albert Einstein 6. There are 10 types of people in the world: Those who understand binary and those who don’t. 7. If at first you don’t succeed, call it version 1.0 ...

Can i explore your mean value? Since distance equals velocity x time, let's let velocity and time approach infinity, because I want to go all the way with you. i = Ø when i am not with you My love for you is a monotonically increasing unbounded function You are the solution to my homogeneous system of linear equations. What's your favorite linear transformation? Your beauty defies real and complex analysis. I wish i were a derivative so i could lie tangent to your curves. I'll take you to the limit as x approaches infinity. Come on baby, let's off to a decimal place i know of and i'll take you to the limit. Let's take each other to the limit to see if we converge Let me integrate our curves so that i can increase our volume If i were a function you would be my asymptote - i always tend towards you. Your beauty cannot be spanned by a finite basis of vectors. My love is like an exponential curve. it's unbounded My love for you i...

Did you say something or has just simmering water your head? You have legs like a deer: Not as thin, but so hairy! Your mother has only brought it to the world, so the dog has something to play! Has anyone ever told you that you look GOOD? Then lied to you but clean! You are more fluid than water you're useless! Go, hide it! Tomorrow is bulky waste! You probably have one at birth and raised three times caught only twice ... Did you get a picture of you? I'll hang it on the basement door, see also the rats so that it and not go into the basement! I live with many disappointments but you must also sleep with your ... Hey, the people at the zoo have so called flat! Them the thing with the banana sorry they want you back! Believe me, no one is perfect! DU and even more so not! Imagination is also an education ... How tall are you? 1.80? I did not know, that you can stack shit so high! When you came into this world your fat...

Short funny quotes for amusement and facebook status update, enjoy more on itshumour.blogspot.com Many accidents occur in the home in the kitchen; Unfortunately, most of them come down on the table. Character is only stubbornness, long live the gypsy. One should not praise the mustard in a tube. What is the gardener crocus, the plumber locus. Students go to the cafeteria so long, until it breaks. All that is fun is either immoral,prohibited by law or make you fat. The first thing you lose on a slimming diet is a good mood. The best thing about winter is that it is too cold to all to catch up the work, you are left in the summer because it was too hot. A man with a large bank account can not be ugly. Anyway, it's better to be a little square to be nothing than a round. "Life is a lot like a roll of toilet paper: the closer you get to the end, the quicker it goes." I was a beautiful baby, but then you have me mixed up in the hospital. If I had n...

Just before the funeral services, the undertaker came up to the very elderly widow and asked, 'How old was your husband?' '98,' she replied... 'Two years older than me' 'So you're 96,' the undertaker commented.. She responded, 'Hardly worth going home, is it? Reporters interviewing a 104-year-old woman: 'And what do you think is the best thing about being 104?' the reporter asked.. She simply replied, 'No peer pressure.' The nice thing about being senile is you can hide your own Easter eggs and have fun finding them. I've sure gotten old! I've had two bypass surgeries, a hip replacement, new knees, fought prostate cancer and diabetes. I'm half blind, can't hear anything quieter than a jet engine, take 40 different medications that make me dizzy, winded, and subject to blackouts. Have bouts with dementia. Have poor circulation; hardly feel my hands and feet anymore. Can't remember if I'm ...

Question: How many days in a week? Answer: 6 Saturdays, 1 Sunday Question: When is a retiree's bedtime? Answer: Three hours after he falls asleep in the recliner. Question: How many retirees to change a light bulb? Answer: Only one, but it might take all day. Question: What's the biggest gripe of retirees? Answer: There is not enough time to get everything done.Very true Question: Why don't retirees mind being called Seniors? Answer: The term comes with a 10% discount.Sometime 15% Question: Among retirees what is considered formal attire? Answer: Tied shoes. Question:Why do retirees count pennies? Answer:They are the only ones who have the time. Question:What is the common term for someone who enjoys work and refuses to retire? Answer:NUTS!So true Question:Why are retirees so slow to clean out the basement, attic or garage? Answer:They know that as soon as they do, one of their adult kids will want to store stuff there. Question: What do retire...

If you divide women in IT classes, there would be the following versions available: The Internet-wife: You have to pay in order to gain access to her. The server-woman: She is always busy when you need her. The Windows-wife: You know that she has a lot of mistakes, but you can not live without it. The PowerPoint woman: It is ideal to present them to the people celebrating. Excel's wife: They could say much, but you use it only for the usual 4 Basic functions. The Word-wife: She surprises you again and again and there is no one in the world, that she really understands. The DOS-wife: All they had, but no one wants now. The back-up woman: You think they would have everything, but when it comes down to you, you notice that there is something missing. The Scan Disk woman: We know that they do good, and that she only wants to help, but in the Basically, no one knows what they really can, and if we are honest Annoys YOU! The screen-saver-wife: She is re...

"Knock-Knock!" "Who's there?" "Stu!" "Stu- who?" "Stupid villains lose every time!" ------------------------------------------------------------------------- "Knock-Knock!" "Who's there?" "Robin!" "Robin-who?" "Someone is ROBIN the bank!" ------------------------------------------------------ Knock Knock Who's there? Knock Knock Who's there?? Knock Knock Who's there?? Just leave me alone!------------------------------------------------------ "Knock-Knock!" "Who's there?" "Howie!" "Howie-who?" "Howie gonna pop that zit?" ------------------------------------------------------ "Knock-Knock!"  "Who's there?" "Walter!" "Walter-who?" "Walter you gonna do about that zit?" ------------------------------------------------------ "Knock-K...