Its All Humor

TEACHER: How old were you on your last birthday STUDENT: Seven. TEACHER: How old will you be on your next birthday? STUDENT: Nine. TEACHER: That's impossible. STUDENT: No, it isn't, Teacher. I'm eight today. _____________________________________________________ TEACHER: George, go to the map and find North America. GEORGE: Here it is! TEACHER: Correct. Now, class, who discovered America? CLASS: George ------------------------------------------- TEACHER: Willy, name one important thing we have today that we didn't have ten years ago. WILLY: Me! ------------------------------------------- TEACHER: Are you chewing gum? BILLY: No, I'm Billy Anderson. ------------------------------------------- TEACHER: Didn't you promise to behave? STUDENT: Yes, Sir. TEACHER: And didn't I promise to punish you if you didn't? STUDENT: Yes, Sir, but since I broke my promise, I don't expect you to keep yours. ------------------------------------------- TEACHER: Tommy, why d...

Turn off the ignition? . . . No . . . . Get away from the car in case it explodes? . . . . . . No . . . . . . . Call 911 on her cell phone? . . . . . . . . No . . . . . . . . . . Can you imagine her first reaction! * * * * * *

A young lady goes to her local pet store in search of an exotic pet. As she looks about the store, she notices a box full of live frogs. The sign says: "Sex Frogs! Only $20 each! Money Back Guarantee! Comes with complete instructions." The girl excitedly looks around to see if anybody's watching her. She whispers softly to the man behind the counter, "I'll take one." The man packages the frog and says, "Just follow the instructions." The girl nods, grabs the box, and is quickly on her way home. As soon as she closes the door to her apartment, she reads the instructions and reads them very carefully. She does exactly what is specified: 1. Take a shower. 2. Splash on some nice perfume. 3. Slip into a very sexy nightie. 4. Crawl into bed and place the frog down beside you and allow the frog to follow its training. She then quickly gets into bed with the frog and, to her surprise, nothing happens! The girl is very disappointed and quite upset at this p...

The only way to pull off a Sunday afternoon 'quickie' with their 8-year old son in the apartment was to send him out on the balcony with a bag of lollipops and tell him to report on all the neighbourhood activities. He began his commentary as his parents put their plan into operation: - 'There's a car being towed from the parking lot,' he shouted. - 'An ambulance just drove by!' - 'Looks like the Andersons have company,' he called out. - 'Matt's riding a new bike!' - 'Looks like the Sanders are moving!' - 'Jason is on his skate board!' - After a few moments he announced,'The Coopers are having sex!!' Startled, his mother and dad shot up in bed! Dad cautiously called out, 'How do you know they are having sex?' - 'Jimmy Cooper is standing on his balcony with a bag of lollipops.'

RULES FOR US and RULES for THEM

The real Xbox Achievements.

Gwen was one of those UGLY women, so ugly it hurts, she never had a boyfriend. So she went to a psychic for help. Honey! - said the psychic. You will not have luck in love in this life. But after death, you will be a much desired woman and all men will fall at your feet. Gwen left very happy and so excited, as she went over a bridge she thought: "The sooner I die, the sooner my next life begins” She decided to jump off the bridge right away. But, incredibly Gwen didn't die! She fell on the back of a truck full of bananas; she lost her senses and fainted. As soon as she recovered, still drowsy and not being able to see very well, and not knowing where she was, she started touching her surroundings, feeling all the bananas she mumbled with a huge smile on her face and said . . . . . . . . . . "GENTLEMEN, PLEASE!… ONE AT A TIME!"