Friday, September 18, 2009

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The Expat Wives Prayer

Heavenly Father,
look down on us, your blessed and humble expat wives, traveling
this earth to lands unknown.

We beseech You, Oh Lord,
to see that our plane is not hijacked, our luggage is not lost or
pillaged and our overweight baggage goes unnoticed.

Give us Divine Guidance
in our selection of houses, cooks, maids, drivers and gardeners.
We pray that the telephone works, the roof doesn't leak, the power
cuts are few, and the rats and cockroaches fewer.

Lead us not into temptation but deliver us from weevils.
Save us this day and our daily dread - of traffic jams.
Lord, please lead us to good, inexpensive restaurants where wine is
included in the meal - not dysentery.
Have mercy on us, Lord, if it be the latter.
Make us fleet on foot to make it on time, and strong in the knee in
case we have to squat.

Give us wisdom
to tip in currencies not yet understood, and help the natives love
us Lord, for what we are, and not for what we appear to be worth.

Grant us the strength to smile at our maids over shrunken laundry
and broken treasures remembering our own mistakes in menial
Give us Divine patience when we again explain OUR way of doing things.

Almighty Father,
keep our husbands from comparing us to the foreign women, save them
from making fools of themselves in night clubs, and please, Lord,
do not forgive them their trespasses, for they know exactly what
they do.

Forgive our expensive treats at Duty Free, for our flesh is weak.
Dear God, protect us from bargains we do not need or cannot afford.
And lastly, Lord,
when our expat years are over, grant us the favor of finding
friends who will look at our photographs and listen to our stories
so that our lives as Expat Wives will not have been in vain.