Skip to main content

Band-aids

Marcus staggered home very late after another evening with his drinking buddy, Paddy.
He took off his shoes to avoid waking his wife, Mary.

He tiptoed as quietly as he could toward the stairs leading to their upstairs bedroom,
but misjudged the bottom step. As he caught himself by grabbing the banister,
his body swung around and he landed heavily on his rump. A whiskey bottle
in each back pocket broke and made the landing especially painful.

Managing not to yell, Marcus sprung up, pulled down his pants, and looked
in the hall mirror to see that his butt cheeks were cut and bleeding.
He managed to quietly find a full box of Band-Aids and began putting
a Band-Aid as best he could on each place he saw blood. He then hid the
now almost empty Band-Aid box and shuffled and stumbled his way to bed.

In the morning, Marcus woke up with searing pain in both his head and butt
and Mary staring at him from across the room.

She said, "You were drunk again last night weren't you?"

Marcus said, "Why you say such a mean thing?"

"Well," Mary said, "it could be the open front door, it could be the broken glass
at the bottom of the stairs, it could be the drops of blood trailing through the house,
it could be your bloodshot eyes, but mostly.....it's all those Band-Aids stuck on the hall mirror.

Comments

Popular posts from this blog

Twenty hilarious funny quotes

1. Regular naps prevent old age, especially if you take them while driving. (My personal favorite funny quotes ) 2. Having one child makes you a parent; having two you are a referee. 3. Marriage is a relationship in which one person is always right and the other is the husband! 4. I believe we should all pay our tax with a smile. I tried - but they wanted cash. 5. Don't feel bad. A lot of people have no talent. 6. Don't marry the person you want to live with, marry the one you cannot live without, but whatever you do, you'll regret it later. 7. You can't buy love, but you pay heavily for it. 8. Bad officials are elected by good citizens who do not vote. 9. Laziness is nothing more than the habit of resting before you get tired. 10. Marriage is give and take. You'd better give it to her or she will take it anyway. 11. My wife and I always compromise. I admit I'm wrong and she agrees with me. 12. Those who can't laugh at themselves ...

sex frequency formula

How often the best sex?  This is probably a lot of people have had questions in mind. The U.S. scholars under the influence of age on sexuality law, summed up a 'sex frequency formula' - the age of first sexual frequency = number * 9. that is their own age, multiplied by ten digit 9, the product of ten digits from a sexual cycle is the last number of days, and was due a bit of sexual frequency. According to the U.S. Women's Health magazine, this formula applies to adults over the age of 20, such as a 25-year-old man, his (her) sex formula for 2 * 9 = 18,18 and 8 of 10 combination, that is for him (her) sex frequency of eight times within 10 days of life, over a frequency on which too frequently, may cause discomfort. The sex chart is below, Take a look at the chart and see if it matches with you ?  ...  ;)  

Top 10 Hilarious Quotes

Here are top 10 hilarious quotes .. Do let me know your thoughts by posting your valuable comments: 1- Always forgive your enemies - Nothing annoys them so much. 2- If Barbie is so popular, why do you have to buy her friends? 3- There are three sides to any argument: your side, my side and the right side. 4- An consultant is someone who takes a subject you understand and makes it sound confusing. 5- Never argue with a fool. People might not know the difference. 6- When you are right, no one remembers. When you’re wrong, no one forgets. 7- Cheer up, the worst is yet to come. [Hilarious Quotes] from my small nephew.. 8- If you can not see the bright side of life, polish the dull side. 9 - A recent police study found that you are much more likely to get shot by a fat cop if you run. 10 - Men want the same thing from their underwear that they want from women: a little bit of support, and a little bit of freedom. Some more funny quotes and funny sayings is li...

Enter your email address: