Tuesday, September 22, 2009

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A Golfer and a Leprechaun

A golfer playing in Ireland hooked his drive into the woods. Looking for his
ball, he found a little leprechaun flat on his back, a big bump on his head,
and the golfer's ball beside him. Horrified, the golfer got his water bottle from
the cart and poured it over the little guy, reviving him. "Arrgh! What
happened?" the leprechaun asked.

"I'm afraid I hit you with my golf ball," the golfer replied.

"Oh, I see. Well, ye got me fair and square. Ye get three wishes, so whaddya
want?" asked the leprechaun.

"Thank God, you're all right!" the golfer answered in relief. "I don't want
anything. I'm just glad you're okay, and I apologize." And with that, the
golfer walks off.

"What a nice guy," the leprechaun said to himself. "I have to do something
for him. I'll give him the three things I would want: a great golf game, all the
money he ever needs, and a fantastic sex life."

A year goes by and the golfer is back. On the same hole, he again hits a bad
drive into the woods and the leprechaun is there waiting for him. "'Twas me
that made ye hit the ball here," the little guy said. "I just want to ask ye,
how's yer golf game?"

"My game is fantastic!" the golfer answered. "I'm an internationally famous
golfer now." He added, "By the way, it's good to see you're all right."

"Oh, I'm fine now, thank ye. I did that fer yer golf game, you know. And tell
me, how's yer money situation?" the little guy asked.

"Why, it's just wonderful!" the golfer stated. "When I need cash, I just reach
in my pocket and pull out $100 notes I didn't even know were there!"

"I did that fer ye also. And tell me, how's yer sex life?" asked the leprechaun.

The golfer blushed, turned his head away in embarrassment, and said shyly,
"It's okay."

"C'mon, c'mon now," urged the leprechaun, "I'm wanting to know if I did a
good job. How many times a week?"

Blushing even more, the golfer looked around, then whispered, "Once,
sometimes twice a week."

"What?!" exclaimed the Leprechaun in shock and disbelief. "That's all?! Only
once or twice a week?!"

"Well," replied the golfer, "I believe that's not too bad for a Catholic priest in
a small parish."