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Best Top T-Shirt Quotes

I don't have an attitude problem. You have a perception problem.

I can only please one person per day. Today is not your day. Tomorrow is not looking good either.

I Haven't Lost My Mind. It's Backed Up On Disk Somewhere.

Cleverly Disguised As A Responsible Adult

THE FOUR STAGES OF LIFE; 1) You believe in Santa Claus. 2) You don't believe in Santa Claus. 3) You become Santa Claus. 4) You start to look like Santa Claus.

Some days you are the pigeon. Some days you are the statue.

The money is always greener in the other guy’s wallet.

If We Quit Voting, Will They All Go Away?

I thought I wanted a career. It turns out I just wanted a pay check.

When money talks, no one criticizes its accent.

I don't suffer from stress. I am a carrier.

Errors have been made. Others will be blamed.

The more crap you put up with, the more crap you are going to get.

I started out with nothing and I still have most of it left.

Jesus loves you, but I think you’re a jerk.

Love is grand. Divorce is a hundred grand.

Consciousness: That annoying time between naps.

Hard work has a future payoff. Laziness pays off now.

Money Isn't Everything...But It Sure Keeps the Kids In Touch.

Raising teenagers is like nailing Jell-O to a tree.

Due to budget cuts, the light at the end of the tunnel has been turned off.

Education is expensive, but ignorance is more so.

Don’t be old until you have lived!

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