1- Always forgive your enemies - Nothing annoys them so much.
2- If Barbie is so popular, why do you have to buy her friends?
3- There are three sides to any argument: your side, my side and the right side.
4- An consultant is someone who takes a subject you understand and makes it sound confusing.
5- Never argue with a fool. People might not know the difference.
6- When you are right, no one remembers. When you’re wrong, no one forgets.
7- Cheer up, the worst is yet to come. [Hilarious Quotes] from my small nephew..
8- If you can not see the bright side of life, polish the dull side.
9 - A recent police study found that you are much more likely to get shot by a fat cop if you run.
10 - Men want the same thing from their underwear that they want from women: a little
bit of support, and a little bit of freedom.
Some more funny quotes and funny sayings is linked here..