Monday, July 6, 2009

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9 things women like to say.

(1) Fine: This is the word women use to end an argument when they are right
and you need to shut up.

(2) Five Minutes: If she is getting dressed, this means a half an hour. Five
minutes is only five minutes if you have just been given five more minutes
to watch the game before helping around the house.

(3) Nothing: This is the calm before the storm. This means something, and
you sho uld be on your toes. Arguments that begin with noth ing usually end
in fine.

(4) Go Ahead: This is a dare, not permission. Don't Do It!

(5) Loud Sigh: This is actually a word, but is a non-verbal statement often
misunderstood by men. A loud sigh means she thinks you are an idiot and
wonders why she is wasting her time standing here and arguing with you about
nothing. (Refer back to # 3 for the meaning of nothing.)

(6) That's Okay: This is one of the most dangerous statements a women can
make to a man. That's okay means she wants to think long and hard before
deciding how and when you will pay for your mistake.

(7) Thanks: A woman is thanking you, do not question, or Faint. Just say
you're welcome. (I want to add in a clause here - This is true, unless she
says 'Thanks a lot' - that is PURE sarcasm and she is not thanking you at
all. DO NOT say 'you're welcome' ... that will bring on a 'whatever').

( Whatever: Is a women's way of saying ____ YOU!

(9) Don't worry about it, I got it: Another dangerous statement, meaning
this is something that a woman has told a man to do several times, but is
now doing it herself. This will later result in a man asking 'What's wrong?'
For the woman's response refer to # 3. ** Send this to the men you know, to
warn them about arguments they can avoid if they remember the terminology


Bruce said...

Could you post something more hackneyed, please? Wow.

david said...

Personally, when they pull their woman crap on me, I generally say "There are plenty more snappers where I found you...I'll find another sucker just like you!" Then they leave and I have peace and harmony restored for a while until I decide to get stupid for fishy-smelling mucous membranes again...